the breath of his bellows; he extinguished the fire
upon his hearthstone. Like pirates in a gale at sea, his enemies swept
everything by the board, leaving, gentlemen of the jury, not so
much--not so much as a horseshoe to nail upon the doorpost to keep the
witches off." The blacksmith, sitting behind, was seen to have tears in
his eyes at this description, and a friend noticing it, said, "Why, Tom,
what's the matter with you? What are you blubbering about?"--"I had no
idea," said Tom in a whisper, "that I had been so abominably
ab-ab-bused."

* * * * *

A veteran member of the Baltimore Bar tells of an amusing
cross-examination in a Court of that city. The witness seemed disposed
to dodge the questions of counsel for the defence. "Sir," admonished the
counsel sternly, "you need not tell us your impressions. We want facts.
We are quite competent to form our own impressions. Now, sir, answer me
categorically." From that time on he got little more than "yes" and
"no" from the witness. Presently counsel asked: "You say that you live
next door to the defendant."--"Yes."--"To the south of him?"--"No."--"To
the north?"--"No."--"Well, to the east then?"--"No."--"Ah," exclaimed
the counsel sarcastically, "we are likely now to get down to the one
real fact. You live to the west of him, do you not?"--"No."--"How is
that, sir?" the astounded counsel asked. "You say you live next door to
the defendant, yet he lives neither north, south, east, or west of you.
What do you mean by that, sir?" Whereupon the witness "came back." "I
thought perhaps you were competent to form the impression that we lived
in a flat," said the witness calmly; "but I see I must inform you that
he lives next door above me."

In the Supreme Court of the United States the President interrupted
counsel in the course of a long speech by saying: "Mr. Jones, you must
give this Court credit for knowing _something_."--"That's all very
well," replied the advocate (who came from a Western State), "but that's
exactly the mistake I made in the Court below."

In a suit for damages against a grasping railway corporation for killing
a cow, the attorney for the plaintiff, addressing the twelve Arkansas
good men and true who were sitting in judgment, and on their respective
shoulder-blades, said: "Gentlemen of the jury, if the train had been
running as slow as it should have been ran, if the bell had been rung as
it 'ort to have been rang,