roke a good deal in your time, I believe?"--"Yes, your honour; but
this last attack was most severe."--"Does sunstroke make you rush
through the streets offering to fight the town?"--"That's the effect
precisely."--"And makes you throw brickbats at people?"--"That's it,
judge. I see you understand the symptoms, and agree with the best
recognised authorities, who hold it inflames the organs of combativeness
and destructiveness. When a man of my temperament gets a good square
sunstroke he's liable to do almost anything."--"Yes; you are quite
right--liable to go to jail for fifteen days. You'll go down with the
policeman at once." With that observation the conversation naturally
closed, and the victim of so-called sunstroke "went down."

* * * * *

"Sheriff, remove the prisoner's hat," said a judge in the Court of
Keatingville, Montana, when he noticed that the culprit before him had
neglected to do so. The sheriff obeyed instructions by knocking off the
hat with his rifle. The prisoner picked it up, and clapping it on his
head again, shouted, "I am bald, judge." Once more it was "removed" by
the sheriff, while the indignant judge rose and said, "I fine you five
dollars for contempt of Court--to be committed until the fine is paid."
The offender approached the judge, and laying down half a dollar
remarked, "Your sentence, judge, is most ungentlemanly; but the law is
imperative and I will have to stand it; so here is half a dollar, and
the four dollars and a half you owed me when we stopped playing poker
this morning makes us square."

The card-playing administrator of law must have felt as small as his
brother-judge who priced a cow at an Arkansas cattle-market. Seeing one
that took his fancy he asked the farmer what he wanted for her. "Thirty
dollars, and she'll give you five quarts of milk if you feed her well,"
said the farmer. "Why," quoth the judge, "I have cows not much more than
half her size which give twenty quarts of milk a day." The farmer eyed
the would-be purchaser of the cow very hard, as if trying to remember if
he had met him before, and then inquired where he lived. "My home is in
Iowa," replied the judge. "Yes, stranger, I don't dispute it. There were
heaps of soldiers from Iowa down here during the war, and they were the
worst liars in the whole Yankee army. Maybe you were an officer in one
of them regiments." Then the judge returned to his Court duties.

*