dear deceased friend; showed
a disregard to the particular mark of esteem he gave me on that
occasion; in short, that I have forfeited what is dearer to me than
my own life--honour and reputation.

These melancholy thoughts have made so great an impression upon me,
that I protest to you I can enjoy no rest; they haunt me everywhere,
day and night. I earnestly beseech you, sir, to represent my unhappy
case to Mrs. Collins. I acted with all the simplicity and uprightness
of my heart; I considered that the MSS. would be as safe in Mrs.
Collins's hands as in mine; that she was no less obliged to preserve
them than myself; and that, as the library was left to her, they
might naturally go along with it. Besides, I thought I could not too
much comply with the desire of a lady to whom I have so many
obligations. But I see now clearly that this is not fulfilling Mr.
Collins's will, and that the duties of our conscience are superior to
all other regards. But it is in her power to forgive and mend what I
have done imprudently, but with a good intention. Her high sense of
virtue and generosity will not, I am sure, let her take any advantage
of my weakness; and the tender regard she has for the memory of the
best of men, and the tenderest of husbands, will not suffer that his
intentions should be frustrated, and that she should be the
instrument of violating what is most sacred. If our late friend had
designed that his MSS. should remain in her hands, he would certainly
have left them to her by his last will and testament; his acting
otherwise is an evident proof that it was not his intention.

All this I proposed to represent to her in the most respectful
manner; but you will do it infinitely better than I can in this
present distraction of mind; and I flatter myself that the mutual
esteem and friendship which has continued so many years between Mr.
Collins and you, will make you readily embrace whatever tends to
honour his memory.

I send you the fifty guineas I received, which I do now look upon as
the wages of iniquity; and I desire you to return them to Mrs.
Collins, who, as I hope it of her justice, equity, and regard to Mr.
Collins's intentions, will be pleased to cancel my paper.

I am, &c.,

P. DES MAIZEAUX.

The manuscripts were never returned to Des Maizeaux; for seven years
afterwards Mrs. Collins, wh