upon the wreck, and take the reader to
the residence where he is expected.

A red-faced woman is putting the finishing touches to the supper table,
and wondering why her husband does not come with the oysters. Presently a
noise as of a lead pencil in the key-hole salutes her ear, and she goes to
the and opens it, and finds him taking the pencil out of the
key-hole. Not seeing any oysters, she asks him if he has forgotten the
oysters.

"Forgot noth(hic)ing," says he.

He walks up to the table and asks for a plate, which is given him by the
unsuspicious wife.

"Damsaccident you ever(hic)see," said the truly good man, as he brought
his hand out of his overcoat pocket, with four oysters, a little smoking
tobacce, and a piece of cigar-stub.

"Slipperysoystersev(hic)er was," said he, as he run his hands down in the
other pocket, bringing up five oysters, a piece of envelope, and a piece
of wire that was used as a bail to the pail.

"Got all my pock(hic)ets full," said he, as he took a large oyster out of
his vest pocket. Then he began to go down in his pants pocket, and finding
a hole in it, he said:

"Six big oys(hic)ters gone down my trousers leg. S'posi'll find them in my
boot," and he sat down to pull off his boot, when the lady took the plate
of oysters and other stuff into the kitchen and threw them in the swill,
and then she put him to bed, and all the time he was trying to tell her
how the bag busted just as he was in front of All Saints Ca(hic)thedral.

THE UNIVERSALIST BATH.

Mr. E.H. Lane is canvassing the city for the Universalist Bath. We don't
know why it should be called a "Universalist Bath," as it more nearly
resembles a Baptist Bath, as we remember it. The bath is a queer thing,
consisting of an India rubber hop sack, fastened to an immense ox bow. The
ends are placed on to chairs, the water put in, and you get in and
hippotamus and take a complete bath from Dan to Beersheba in a tea cup
full of water.

KILLING BIG GAME.

The conductors on the St. Paul railroad are most all good sports with a
shot gun. There is Howard and Clason, and Russell, who never tire of
talking of the millions of chickens, ducks, wild turkeys and so forth that
they have killed. They have tried to get Conductor Green interested in
field sports, but he always said the game was not big enough for him. He
said he had his opinion men that would surround a little chicken with
spike tailed dogs, and then kill it and call it