noble land iv th' br-rave an' home iv th' flea,' he
says. 'Veev Fr-rance!' he says. 'Veev Jools Guerin!' he says.
'Conspuez Rothscheeld!' he says. 'It's ye'er move, Loot,' he says to
th' polisman.

"'I defer to th' ar-rmy whose honor is beyond reproach,' says th'
polisman, 'or recognition,' he says. 'Veev l'army!' he says.

"'Thank ye,' says Gin'ral Bellow, salutin'. 'I will do me jooty. Man
can do no more,' he says. 'Jools,' he says, 'surrinder,' he says. 'Ye
cannot longer hol' out,' he says. 'Ye have provisions on'y f'r eight
years.'

"'We will remain till th' last wan iv us perishes iv indigestion,'
says Jools.

"'Thin I must take sthrong measures,' says th' gin'ral. 'At a given
signal we will storm th' house, bate down th' dures, smash in th'
roofs, cut off th' gas, poison th' wather supply, back up th' sewer,
break th' windys, an' r-raise th' rint.'"

"'Do ye'er worst,' says Jools, proudly.

"'Thin,' says th' gin'ral, imprissively, 'if these measures do not
suffice, I will suspind th' deliv'ry iv th' mails,' he says.

"'Miscreant!' cries Jools, tur-rnin' white. 'An' this is called a
merciful governmint,' he says. 'Mong doo,' he says, 'what cr-rimes
will not Fr-rinchmen commit again' Fr-rinchmen!' he says. 'But,' he
says, 'ye little know us, if ye think we can be quelled be vi'lence,'
he says. 'I have a last card,' he says. 'I refuse to give th' signal,'
he says.

"'Thin,' says th' gin'ral, tur-rnin' away with tears in his eyes, 'we
must adopt other measures.'

"'Very well,' says Jools. 'But mark wan thing,--that, if ye attempt to
make me ridiculous, ye shall suffer.'

"'I assure ye, mong editor,' says th' gin'ral, earnestly, 'that th'
governmint will not make ye anny more ridiculous than it makes
itsilf,' says he.

"'Me honor is satisfied,' says Jools. 'Do ye'er worst,' he says.

"At eight o'clock th' minister iv war ar-rived, an' took command. He
ordhered up twinty rig'mints iv cav'lry, tin batthries iv artillery,
an' two divisions iv fut sojers. It was his intintion to sind th'
cav'lry in over th' roofs, while th' army carried th' front stoop,
protected be fire fr'm th' heavy artillery, while th' Fr-rinch navy
shelled th' back dure. But this was seen to be impossible, because th'
man that owned th' wine-shop next dure, he said 'twud dhrive away
custom. All th' sthreets f'r miles ar-round was blockaded without
effect. Th' fire departmint was called to put Jools out, but wather
niver touched him.