he says. 'Here's his description,' he says: 'eyelashes,
eight killomethres long; eyes, blue an' assymethrical; jaw,
bituminous; measuremint fr'm abaft th' left ear to base iv maxillory
glan's, four hectograms; a r-red scar runnin' fr'm th' noomo-gasthric
narve to th' sicond dorsal verteebree,' he says. 'Tis so. I have th'
description at home in th' cash dhrawer. Well, Andy come in about six
o'clock that night, lookin' as though he'd been thryin' to r-run a fut
race acrost a pile iv scrap ir'n; an' says he, 'Loot,' he says, 'I've
got him,' he says. "I didn't take th' measuremints,' he says,
'because, whin I pulled out th' tape line, he rowled me eighty
hectograms down th' sthreet,' he says. 'But 'tis Mike McGool,' he
says. 'I don't know annything about his noomo-gasthric narves,' he
says, 'but I reco'nized his face,' he says. 'I've r-run him in fifty
times,' he says.

"Bertillon, besides bein' a profissor iv detictives, is a handwritin'
expert, which is wan iv th' principal industhries iv Fr-rance at th'
prisint time. He was accompanied be a throop iv assistants carryin' a
camera, a mutoscope, a magic lantern, a tib iv dye, a telescope, a
calceem light, a sextant, a compass, a thermometer, a barometer, a
thrunkful iv speeches, a duplicate to th' Agyptian obelisk, an
ink-eraser, an' a rayceipt f'r makin' goold out iv lead pipe.

"'Well, sir,' says Bertillon, 'what d'ye want?'

"'Nawthin',' says th' coort. 'Didn't ye ask to be called here?'

"'No,' says Bertillon, 'an' ye didn't ask me, ayther. I come. Ye said
jus' now, Why do I believe th' Cap's guilty? I will show ye. In th'
spring iv ninety-five or th' fall iv sixty-eight, I disraymimber
which, Gin'ral Merceer'--

"'Ye lie,' says Gin'ral Merceer, coldly.

"'--called on me; an' says he, "Bertillon," he says, "ye'er fam'ly's
been a little cracked, an' I thought to ask ye to identify this
letther which I've jus' had written be a frind iv mine, Major
Estherhazy," he says. "I don't care to mintion who we suspect; but
he's a canal Jew in th' artillery, an' his name's Cap Dhryfuss," he
says. "It's not aisy," I says; "but, if th' honor iv th' ar-rmy's at
stake, I'll thry to fix th' raysponsibility," I says. An' I wint to
wurruk. I discovered in th' first place that all sentences begun with
capitals, an' they was a peryod at th' end iv each. This aroused me
suspicions. Clearly, this letther was written be a Jew. Here I paused,
f'r I had no samples iv th' Cap's writin' to