wed Madame
to the first house at which I had earlier tried so unsuccessfully. She
knocked at the door like a fury, and no sooner was it opened than she
went in without more ado, and we after her. "I have come to show M'sieu
the Colonel the room that you have prepared for him," she said in her
own language to the old woman, who stood bowing and smiling as hard as
she could. Then she opened a door and took us into the nicest room
imaginable.

"'Ere I 'ope you will be 'appy, my Colonel," she continued. "Zis is ze
best room ze Captain could find for you. Also I 'ope you will find
Madame aimable;" and here she looked at the old woman, who started
bowing again harder than ever. It was the same at all the other houses.
Passing from one to another she commandeered room after room, even
managing to wrest a bed from the father of six; and I verily believe
that the inhabitants would have burned their dwellings to warm us had
the little lady ordered it. All the while she maintained the fiction
that I had arranged things previously.

"I 'ave just come wiz ze Captain to see everyting ees what you call
spick," she said on leaving us.

"And a very good business you have made of it," said the O.C. to me
approvingly. Still greatly puzzled, I returned to thank my benefactress.
After expressing my gratitude I ventured to tell her that she had been
much kinder to me than I had been led to expect.

"But 'ave I not see you kees my little son?" she said gravely.

"Ah," I said to myself, "_that's_ it!" and, stooping down to where he
was playing, I did it again with added warmth.

* * * * *

From the transactions of the Royal Dublin Society:--

"Professor HUGH RYAN, M.A., D.Sc., and Mr. M. J. WALSH,
M.Sc.--'On Desoxyhydrocatechintetramethylether.'"

We are not surprised that it took two of them to tackle it.

* * * * *

[Illustration: SAINT VALENTINE'S DAY IN THE FATHERLAND.

It chanced that on the fourteenth day of February the
boy Cupid strayed into the precincts of Potsdam, and
came all unawares upon the War Lord; who deeming him to
be an alien babe essayed to make a characteristic end of
him.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Disgusted Instructor._ "NOW THEN, NONE
O' THEM PEACE TACTICS! 'ERE I'M TRYING TO TEACH YER 'OW
TO KILL THE ENEMY, AND YER GOES AND KISSES 'IM!"]

* *