omfortable.... He had
a large bomb placed in the engine-room, and another on
the bridge, which could be exploded easily by
electricity."--_Daily News._

* * * * *

"AMERICA'S LAST WORD FOR
THE HUN.
SIXTEEN PAGES TO-DAY."

_Daily Mirror Poster._

These American last words!

* * * * *

THE WATCH DOGS.

XXXV.

MY DEAR CHARLES,--Things go on here from day to day in a businesslike
and orderly fashion, the comic relief being supplied by a temporary,
very temporary, man from overseas, who has operated for a while at our
telephone exchange. Most people, myself included, are overawed by the
dignity and significance of our environment here; not so this Canadian.
One of our very greatest was having words with his instrument the other
evening. He supposed, wrongly, that his antagonist was a hundred
kilometres away, and he adjusted his remarks and voice accordingly.
Imagine his pain on being informed, from the exchange, in quite a
cheerful and friendly tone, "I guess you're on the wrong string this
time, Mister."

There is also, of course, that never-failing source of satisfaction,
the military mess waiter. I think ours, the other night, excelled all
starters in the art of ellipsis. Our meal was interrupted by a loud
bump, crash, cataclysm and bang. We took it that two at least of the
enemy's great offensives had begun, centralising on us and opening with
the destruction of all our mess machinery, personnel and platter.
Shortly afterwards Alfred, slightly flushed, came into the room. We
asked him to let us know the worst. All we could get out of him was, "I
must 'a' trod on a bit o' fat, Sir."

You will be touched, I am sure, by the pretty story now current
concerning the earnest young subaltern and the Brigadier. The former was
responsible for the training of an expert section, in no matter what
particular black art; the latter called in person one morning to witness
an experimental display. The apparatus was produced, the Brigadier
inspected it delicately, and the section was fallen in, standing near by
in an attitude of modest pride. From them the Brigadier eventually
singled out a private to do a star turn; silence was enjoined while the
subaltern should give the private the necessary detail orders. Now the
subaltern was one of the many of us civilians who have a burning
ambition not only to achieve perfection alwa