Gazette._

* * * * *

The Pinch of War.

"Mr. ---- is having his first show of well-known English
Corsets, made specially for him."--_Provincial Paper._

* * * * *

Getting Off Cheaply.

"Mark then explained to the police that they had been
'had.' He was promptly arrested for falsely representing
himself as a deserter and to-day was fined 0s."

_Evening Paper._

Judging by the small value attached to him he might have been the German
mark.

* * * * *

"LOST, in Annfield, Newhaven, boy's bicycle
(three-wheeled); if found in any person's possession
after this date will be prosecuted."

_Edinburgh Evening News._

For unlawful acquisition of the extra wheel, we presume.

* * * * *

From a shop-girl's account of the great War:--

"I shall never forget the Saturday before that Bank
Holiday if I live till I draw my last breath."--_Daily
Mirror._

She ought to have a fair chance of this.

* * * * *

"Sir Edward Grey has all manner of fine and beautiful
ideals to which we lay no claim. But the fairy
step-mother who was so prodigal over his cradle yet
denied him one gift."

_Morning Paper._

Still, it takes an exceptional man to have a step-mother at birth, fairy
or other.

* * * * *

AT THE PLAY.

"CAROLINE."

A BABY, did he but know it, is only happy reaching out from the bath for
the soap. When he gets it, lo! it is mere froth and bitterness. That,
roughly, is Mr. MAUGHAM'S idea in _Caroline_.

If you are to love a woman, for heaven's sake, says he, take care that
she be safe bound beyond your reach. All attainment is dead-sea fruit.
But how is anyone to believe this depressing sort of doctrine when the
woman in question is such an engaging divinity as his _Caroline Ashley_,
interpreted by Miss IRENE VANBRUGH at the very top of her form? The
doctrine, indeed, may be hanged for the nefarious half-truth it is; but
this would still leave you free to appreciate one of the most brilliant
and finished pieces of work which Mr. MAUGHAM has yet done for the
stage. True, it is merely an airy trifle; but it is almost perfect of
its kind.

The action opens on the morning of the announcement in _The Times_ of
the death of _Caroline's_ extremely di