ingenuously
stating by way of a seasonable ruse, "_Pardon, monsieur, je suis
francais._"

I'd prefer to leave it at that, but you are one of those detestable
people who insist on going on after the climax. So I may as well tell
you that at this point our friend's legs took to action on their own, no
doubt remarking to themselves as they did so that this was but another
instance of damned bad Staff work. I sometimes wonder whether possibly
it isn't easier to be a limb than a brain.

Yours ever,
HENRY.

* * * * *

MR. PUNCH'S POTTED FILMS. THE PASSIONATE DRAMA.

THE DEMON OF JEALOUSY.

[Illustration: "WRETCHED WOMAN! WHO IS THIS? HENCEFORTH
YOU ARE NO WIFE OF MINE!"]

[Illustration: A WOMAN'S ANGUISH.]

[Illustration: "DIE, SCOUNDREL!"]

[Illustration: A STRONG MAN'S RAGE.]

[Illustration: "HE IS MY BROTHER FROM AUSTRALIA. YOU
SHOULD NOT BE SO HASTY."]

[Illustration: FORGIVENESS.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Grannie_ (_dragged out of bed at 1.30
A.M. and being hurriedly dressed as the bombs begin to
fall_). "NANCY, THESE STOCKINGS ARE NOT A PAIR."]

* * * * *

LITERARY PITFALLS.

_The Chronicle_ publishes a most interesting letter received from Mr. G.
B. BURGIN, who lately, if our memory serves us right, completed his
fiftieth novel. He writes:--

"A hitch has arisen about the publication of my novel,
_The Rubber Princess_. It deals with an air raid on
London, etc., and it has been pointed out to me that if
it appears before the War is over it will probably be
suppressed, and that I shall be mulcted in pains and
penalties. I have therefore withdrawn it and substituted
(for the Spring), with Hutchinsons, _The Hut by the
River_, of which I have great hopes. It is a Canadian
romance, with a pretty love story and a nice little
mystery at the end."

It will, we are sure, be a consolation to Mr. BURGIN, to whose agility
and versatility we desire to render our homage, to learn that he is not
singular in his experience.

Only a few days ago we received a letter from Mr. Bimbo Posh, the famous
Suffolk realist, recounting the circumstances which have led to the
postponement of his eagerly-expected romance, _The Synthetic Sovereign_.

It appears that Mr. Posh, a man of a most scientific imagination,
assigned the _role_