press regret at the death of American citizens. Count BERNSTORFF
points out that Germany has thus gone very far towards meeting the
American demand. He hopes and believes that two great civilized nations
will not fall out over so small a matter as the use or omission of the
two letters _i_, _l_, at the beginning of a long word.

VI.

Mr. LANSING has in a polite note expressed himself unable to accept
Count BERNSTORFF'S offer as a full satisfaction of America's demands.
The sands are evidently running out, and there is serious danger of the
negotiations proving abortive. In the meantime a sharp Note has been
addressed to England in regard to her interference with American
commerce. Six munition works were yesterday blown up. The outrage is
attributed to Germans. President WILSON is carefully considering his
action.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE ARMLET IN BORRIBODABOO.

_The Old Man._ "THIS HOT SPELL MAKES ME GLAD THAT I'M
TOO OLD TO ATTEST."]

* * * * *

The "Lusitania" Crisis.

"The Vienna Correspondence Bureau emphasises the gravity
of the situation, and says that the negotiations are
interrupted. This interruption, it is added, is as it
came from the cow."
_Yorkshire Post._

Not, as you might have expected, from the WOLFF.

* * * * *

"To prevent the eyes watering when peeling onions, let
the tap drip on them. This keeps the fumes from rising,
and if wanted for frying they can easily be dried in a
cloth afterwards."--_The Matron._

Thanks, but we hardly ever want to fry our eyes.

* * * * *

"The Primate had the novel and undesirable experience of
being shelled by the enemy, one shell in fact bursting
within twenty-five yards of him. The arrangements for
this part of his visit were mostly made by the Rev. ----,
C.F."--_Northern Whig._

Humorous fellows, these Army chaplains.

* * * * *

"FOR SALE.--Imported, fresh arrival of Japanese Poodles,
very handsome, with a long silken hair, smart, and pick
up anything taught. Rs. 200 per pair."--_Times of
India._

"And beauty draws us with a single hair."

* * * * *

"What would he say to a chemist who could not translate a
common tag--for example, rem tetigisti acer?"--_Mo