bless youth! And I prayed for him as I went to sleep. Lord, send peace
and light to Thy people!

Chapter II. The Duel

_(c) Recollections of Father Zossima's Youth before he became a Monk. The
Duel_

I spent a long time, almost eight years, in the military cadet school at
Petersburg, and in the novelty of my surroundings there, many of my
childish impressions grew dimmer, though I forgot nothing. I picked up so
many new habits and opinions that I was transformed into a cruel, absurd,
almost savage creature. A surface polish of courtesy and society manners I
did acquire together with the French language.

But we all, myself included, looked upon the soldiers in our service as
cattle. I was perhaps worse than the rest in that respect, for I was so
much more impressionable than my companions. By the time we left the
school as officers, we were ready to lay down our lives for the honor of
the regiment, but no one of us had any knowledge of the real meaning of
honor, and if any one had known it, he would have been the first to
ridicule it. Drunkenness, debauchery and devilry were what we almost
prided ourselves on. I don't say that we were bad by nature, all these
young men were good fellows, but they behaved badly, and I worst of all.
What made it worse for me was that I had come into my own money, and so I
flung myself into a life of pleasure, and plunged headlong into all the
recklessness of youth.

I was fond of reading, yet strange to say, the Bible was the one book I
never opened at that time, though I always carried it about with me, and I
was never separated from it; in very truth I was keeping that book "for
the day and the hour, for the month and the year," though I knew it not.

After four years of this life, I chanced to be in the town of K. where our
regiment was stationed at the time. We found the people of the town
hospitable, rich and fond of entertainments. I met with a cordial
reception everywhere, as I was of a lively temperament and was known to be
well off, which always goes a long way in the world. And then a
circumstance happened which was the beginning of it all.

I formed an attachment to a beautiful and intelligent young girl of noble
and lofty character, the daughter of people much respected. They were
well-to-do people of influence and position. They always gave me a cordial
and friendly reception. I fancied that the young lady looked on me with
favor and my heart was aflame at such a