y first," said I, and then he
tutored me in the use of the others. After some repetition it was drummed
into me that the one nearest the bed was the switch of the getting-into-bed
light, and the next one to that the bell which rang in Perkins' upstairs
quarters, The other four or five I found, when I came to study them alone,
I had forgotten.

I clambered into bed and with great intelligence pressed the correct
switch. Had I left it at that my problem would never have arisen.

I have, however, a confession to make which ill accords with my luxurious
surroundings of the moment. It is that I am accustomed to press my trousers
myself by the homely and ignoble expedient of sleeping on them. My only
excuse is that I am a heavy sleeper. So automatic is the process, that I
was wrapped in sheets and darkness before it occurred to me that I had
placed the trousers I had just doffed under the mattress on which I now
lay. I could not help thinking how the masterful Perkins would take it when
he came to look for them in the morning. I conceived him picking up my
dinner-jacket here, my waistcoat there, and wandering round the room in a
hopeless quest for the complement of my suit, trying to recall the events
of the previous night and to remember whether I was English or Scottish ...
and then, more in sorrow than in anger, spotting the lost ones....

As I contemplated this picture I was moved to pity Perkins, torn asunder
between two dreadful alternatives, the one of leaving the trousers there
and committing a dereliction of duty, the other of removing them stealthily
and committing an indelicacy. I was also moved to pity myself, lying supine
under his speechless contempt. I resolved to spare us both, to get out of
bed and put things right. I stretched out a hand for the switch. I grasped
it with an effort. I pressed the button.

No light ensued.

I pressed again ... and again ... with no visible result. I pressed once
more, and still there was a marked absence of light. I lay back in bed and,
cursing Charles, thought out his instructions. Cautiously I reached out
again, pressed once more and succeeded. The continued oscillation of the
second cord revealed to me what you have already guessed, that I had
meanwhile rung the bell in Perkins' sleeping quarters four times.

To me the approaching climax was horrible; I could see no way of dealing
with the situation shortly about to arise. To those who have never known
and feared Perki