planation was to be found in the fact that we thought it undesirable to
have too individual features, just as we thought it undesirable to wear too
individual clothes.

At this point a violent uproar broke out, many of those present protesting
against these statements as involving a libel on the entire female sex. It
being impossible to restore order, Professor Splurgeson had to be escorted
to his hotel by policemen, the date of his second lecture being
indefinitely postponed.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "REJECTED": ANOTHER MOVING PICTURE TRAGEDY.]

* * * * *

PANDEAN.

'Twas harvest time and close and warm,
A day when tankards foam,
But when there came the thunder-storm
We'd got the last load home;
We'd knocked off work--as custom is--
Though 'twern't but four o'clock,
And turned in to Jim Stevens's,
That keeps "The Fighting-Cock."

The rain roared down in thunder-thresh,
And roared itself away,
And left the earth as sweet and fresh
As though 'twas only May;
And from outside came stock and clove
And half-a-dozen more;
And then up steps a piping cove,
A-piping at the door.

We tumbles out to hear him blow,
_Tu-wit_, he blew, _tu-wee_,
On rummy pipes o' reeds a-row
Their likes I never see;
And as he blew he shook a limb
And capered like a goat,
And us bold lads we looks at him
Like rabbits at a stoat.

An oddly chap and russet red,
He capered and he hopped,
A bit o' sacking on his head
Although the rain had stopped:
_Tu-wee_ he blew, he blew _tu-wit_,
All in the clean sunshine,
And oh, the creepy charm of it
Went crawling up my spine.

I don't know if the others dreamed--
'Cos why, they never tell--
But in a little bit it seemed
I knew the tune quite well;
It seemed to me I'd heard it once
In woods away and dim,
Where someone with a horned sconce
Came capering like him.

It held me tight, that tune o' his,
It crawled on scalp and skin,
Till sudden--'long o' choir-practice--
The belfry bells swung in;
The piping cove he turned and passed,
Till through the golden broom
A mile along we saw him last
Go lone-like up the coombe.

The belfry bells they rang--one--two;
The spell was lift from me,
The spell the oddly piper blew--
_Tu-wit_, he went, _tu-wee_;
The spell was lift