er he went for three years, for one could readily
understand that for the first year he simply touched the fungi of the
Council business."--_Hexham Herald._

Motto for rival town council: "There's no moss on _us_."

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Sandy_ (_newly arrived in the Canadian forest land_).
"WHATNA BEAST'S YON?"

_Native._ "A YOUNG MOOSE."

_Sandy._ "OCH, HAUD YER TONGUE! IF THAT'S A YOUNG MOOSE I'D LIKE TO SEE ANE
O' YER AULD RATS!"]

* * * * *

MUSICAL NOTES.

As a concrete protest against Jumbomania, or the worship of mammoth
dimensions, the prodigious success of Tiny Titus, America's latest
wonder-child, is immensely reassuring. In the Albert Hall, where he made
his _debut_ amid scenes of corybantic enthusiasm last week, the diminutive
_virtuoso_ was hardly visible to the naked eye. (As a matter of fact he is
only 21 inches high and weighs just under 11 lb.) Yet by his colossal
personality he dominated the vast assemblage and inspired the orchestra to
such feats of dynamic diabolism as entirely eclipsed the most momentous
achievements of any full-grown conductor from NERO to NIKISCH.

* * * * *

What renders the performance of this tremendous tot so awe-inspiring is the
fact that he is not merely a musical illiterate, who cannot yet read a note
of music, but that he has received no education of any kind! Born at
Tipperusalem, Oklahoma, on the 15th of March, 1912, he has for parents a
clerk in the Eagle Bakery and a Lithuanian laundress. He never touches
meat, not even baked eagles, but subsists entirely on peaches and popcorn.
He has been compared to MOZART, but the comparison is ridiculous, for
MOZART was carefully trained by his father, and at the age of four was a
finished executant. But it is quite otherwise with Tiny Titus, who knows no
music, and yet by the sole power of his genius comprehends the musical
heights unattainable by adults. MOZART, in short, was an explicable
miracle, while Tiny Titus is an insoluble Sphinx.

* * * * *

From the innumerable tributes which have been paid to the genius of this
unprecedented phenomenon we can only make a brief and inadequate selection.
Prince Boris Ukhtomsky writes, "When I listen to this infinitesimal giant
of conductors I dream that mankind is dancing on the edge of a precipice.
Tiny Titus is--the 32nd of the month