about it?" remarked
Mackenzie.

"Yes, I'm sure that's the best thing to do," I agreed. "The Collector
in my district is always writing to the Government of India, and the
Government prints all he writes and sends it round with remarks and
decisions. He will get all sorts of honours and rewards out of this
famine."

"Yes. But what shall I write?" asked Higgins. "If I simply say there
is a chap called Higgins who is terribly bored and wants some notice
taken of him, they won't print that sort of tosh."

"Not that particular kind of tosh, perhaps," agreed Mackenzie. "You've
got to write about your work and ask for a decision on some point or
other. Then they'll remember your existence; and if you write often
enough you will gradually crawl out of obscurity into the limelight.
Almost anything will do to start with."

"Well, I found an old woman to-day in one of my camps who could not
eat her ration, because she had no teeth. Can you make anything out of
that?" asked Higgins.

"We'll have a shot at it anyway," replied Mackenzie. He pulled a sheet
of note-paper and a pencil out of his pocket and wrote the following
draft:--"There are in the famine camps in my area some toothless old
people who cannot eat the ordinary ration. What shall I do about it?"

"The gist of the letter is all right," I said, "but the style wants
polishing. Higgins's education will be gauged by our style. Cross out
'some toothless old people' and write 'certain edentulous persons.'
Put 'masticate' instead of 'eat.' Then you must not say, 'What shall I
do about it?' That sounds too helpless. You, or rather Higgins, must
appear as a man of unbounded initiative and resource. You must write,
'I suggest that a special ration of soft food be issued to such
persons.' That will help the Government of India to solve a very
difficult problem, and Higgins will earn its eternal gratitude."

The amendments were passed unanimously. Higgins copied out the letter
in his best handwriting and sent it off through the long and winding
channels by which subalterns on famine duty communicate with the
heaven-born ones who sit on the far-off hills.

We separated next day, and I forgot all about the matter until three
weeks later, when, going through my official mail, the name Patrick
Aloysius Higgins caught my eye. There was our letter printed in full,
and below it was the epoch-making decision of the Government: "A
special ration of soft food may be issued to edent