and were
heading for Holland, travelling by night.

Passing the farm at about midnight they espied our hooded mess-cart
and, feeling tired and footsore, had conceived the bright idea of
stealing a horse to fit the cart and driving to Holland in style and
comfort. Just as they were getting things shipshape along came the
Babe and clapped the lid on--"_verfluchte kleine Teufel_!"

When the Main Guard lads inquired how it was that after all their
trouble they had allowed one lone unarmed infant to corral the three
of them, instead of quietly biffing him on the head, as they quite
easily might have done, the Huns were very confused. At one moment
they were in the shed, they said, fascinated like moths in the glare
of the torch, and the next thing they knew they were in the midst of a
horde of underclothed Tommies--trapped. As to what had happened in the
interval, or how they had been spirited from one place to the other,
they were not in the least clear--couldn't explain it at all.

The Drill Habit again.

PATLANDER.

* * * * *

ARMISTICE-TIME ECONOMY.

"The Consecrating Officers were elected Honorary Members of the
Lodge and were presented with a souvenir in the form of a solid
silver cigar ash-tray, made from the lead used in the production
of shrapnel bullets."

_Freemason's Chronicle_.

* * * * *

"Several persons dropped to the pavement, several dripping with
blood. One man had his head partially opened, and he lay writing
on the ground."--_Provincial Paper_.

If the poor fellow was, as we presume, a reporter, we cannot too much
applaud his devotion to duty.

* * * * *

[Illustration: NEWS FROM THE SHIRES.

_Customer_. "WELL, JARVIS, WHAT'S THE LATEST?"

_Farrier_. "I HEAR AS HOW THAT ADMIRAL BEATTY IS LIKELY TO BECOME A
PUBLIC MAN."

_Customer_. "HOW DO YOU MEAN?"

_Farrier_. "WHY, I HEAR SOME TALK OF HIM BEING MASTER OF THE QUORN."]

* * * * *

THE BET.

The Colonel was, as usual, laying down the law.

"Economy!" he said with a snort; "economy's dead. No one cares about
saving money any more. No one cares about the value of money. We
are asked excessive prices and we pay them. We eat, drink and are
merry--or approximately so--and be hanged to you! With the exception
of the halfpenny stamp we put on circulars I can think of nothing that