FROM OUR VILLAGE.

_Mrs. Sharply_ (_to the Doctor, who has looked in, having heard that her
"good man" is ailing_). "NO, I THANK YE, SIR. YOU SEE I'VE HEERD OF YOU,
SIR, AS YOU'VE BEEN 'PRAC_TI_SING' HERE FOR THE LAST THREE YEARS, AND SO
I'D RATHER YOU WENT 'PRAC_TI_SING' ELSEWHERE, AS I DON'T WANT NO
_'SPERIMENTS_ ON MY OLD MAN!"]

* * * * *

At a recent Monday Pop Concert, Mr. BORWICK put any amount of
powder--everyone has seen or heard of Borwick's Powder--into his
performance of "_Suite Anglaise_." As a pretty lady observed, "He might
just as well, or better, have put the name in English, and called it, '_The
Sweet English Girl_.'" Messrs. JOACHIM, RIES, STRAUSS, and PIATTI, played a
string-quartette in C Sharp Minor, and out of respect to the Ecclesiastical
Season of the year, they gave marked prominence to the "_Lento_" in G.
Flat.

* * * * *

A GENUINE BUILDING SOCIETY.--The Birds, just now. And its members are not
even waiting for a Re-leaf Fund, which will, however, soon come, with "the
flowers that bloom in the Spring, tra-la!"

* * * * *

THE G. O. M. FROM A MUSICAL POINT OF VIEW.--When preternaturally alert, he
is "Mr. G. Sharp." When depressed, he is "Mr. G. Flat." When himself again,
he is "Mr. G. Natural." As being second son, he is "G. Minor." He is also
_hors ligne_. But he refuses to be musically translated to the House of
Lords, and become "The Upper G."

* * * * *

_Q._ What is the difference between a lover asking the object of his
affections to marry him, and a guest who ventures to hint to his host that
the Pommery '80 is rather corked?

_A._ The one pops the question, the other questions the pop.

* * * * *

Mrs. R. saw the heading of a paragraph in the _Times_, of Monday. Feb. 27,
"Jade in Upper Burmah." She laid the paper down, and exclaimed, "Dear me! I
wonder who she is!"

* * * * *

If we ever do adopt Bimetallism, it is evident, from Mr. GLADSTONE'S
masterly speech, that holders of Consols will obtain very little
consol-ation.

* * * * *

PILL-DOCTOR HERDAL.

(_Translated from the Original Norwegian by Mr. Punch_)

[PREFATORY NOTE. The original title, _Mester-Pijl-droegster Herdal_,
would sound a trifle too uncouth to the Philistine ear, and is