I'm told is known as a titter, interrupted me, and, before I
had quite finished, there was a boisterous roar of laughter."

"Oh, come," I said, "you mustn't take that too much to heart. House will
have its joke, and, if you won't make it, it sometimes makes it round you,
using you as lay-figure. Your voice and manner in answering simple
matter-of-fact question, were perhaps a size or so too large. But you'll
get the hang of the place by-and-by, and will be all right."

"I don't think so," said SOLICITOR-GENERAL, sadly. "Look again what
happened just now. House unexpectedly goes into Committee. Can't find
MELLOR. 'You take the Chair,' says the SQUIRE; 'you'll fill it admirably.'
No time for hesitation; I take the Chair; Clerk claps Bill into my hand. I
say, 'Question is, that I do report progress, and ask leave to sit again.'
Shouts of 'Aye,' and 'No.' 'I think the Ayes have it,' I say, in deep
chest-notes, with persuasive fall of eyebrows. 'The Noes have it!' they
shout. Very well; first duty of Chairman is to be impartial; so _I_ say,
'The Noes have it.' Again they roar with laughter. WOODALL, in charge of
Bill, feels for sword of Financial Secretary to War Office. Fortunately,
can't find it. Otherwise, Chair of Committees might have been steepled with
my gore. What shall I do next? 'Put question again,' Clerk hoarsely
whispered. 'Question is, that I do report progress, and ask leave to sit
again. Those who are of that opinion say Aye; the contrary, No. I think the
Ayes have it.' That would at least get me out of the Chair, and you
certainly won't find me asking for leave to sit again. But what follows? In
all parts of the House, just now opposing progress, hilarious shout of 'No!
No!' rises up. That means I'm to go on with the Bill; but I know if I
declare 'the Noes have it,' they'll turn round to the 'Ayes.' So, after
standing for moment irresolutely, Bill in hand, I'm not ashamed to say I
bolted from table, taking Bill with me. House roared louder than ever. Seem
to have discovered excellent joke. But I don't see it, TOBY. If this is
House of Commons life, give me the dignity and quiet of the Chancery Bar."

Quite a procession of new Members took their seats on election. Honours of
the day with HARRY LAWSON, who, after stubborn fight, has won Cirencester.
As young HARRY, with his beaver on, marched to table, Liberals temporarily
relieved themselves from imputation that they don't know how to cheer.

_Business done