ter_.
As may be imagined, the dialogue is full of irony.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE OLD COUNTRY. ST. WYCLIFFE'S COLLEGE, OXBRIDGE.

_Mr. Jonah P. Skeggs, from Chicago (with his family) suddenly bursts on
Jones, who keeps at Letter A in the Cloisters._

"SIR--WE OFFER YOU--MANY APOLOGIES--FOR THIS--UNWARRANTABLE INTRUSION! WE
WERE NOT AWARE THE OLD RUIN WAS INHABITED!"]

* * * * *

BETWEEN THE ROUNDS.

["The record of the Opposition, so far, is one of wasted opportunities
and ill-conceived tactics. They have been beaten, out-manoeuvred and
discredited by a foe on whom, with proper management, they might often
have turned the tables.... These are no days for punctilious or
overstrained courtesy in dealing with political opponents....
Conservatives and Unionists may be tolerably certain that they will
gain nothing by this misplaced delicacy."--_The Standard._]

_Perturbed Old Party loquitur_:--

Wich, ARTHUR, I'm puffeck aweer as a fighter you're truly tip-top,
Our party's pecooliar pride, and our cause's particular prop!
_You_ can "pop in a slommacking wunner," if ever a lad could, dear boy:
But--well, there, you ain't scored _this_ round; and yer foes is
a-chortling with joy!
'Ow is it, my ARTHUR, 'ow is it! I've nurriged you up from a kid,
And if ever a lathy young scrapper showed pluck and fair promidge, boy,
_you_ did;
Wich I've cheridged and cracked you up constant, and backed you in all of
your fights.
And I've swore it was you, right as rain, as would do the Grand Ould 'Un
to rights!
But he's turned up more younger than ever--O drabbit him; 'ow he do
wear!--
I thought he'd be knocked out at once, the fust round, and he ain't
turned a hair!
He hits hard and fast as the "TINMAN," he's nimble as poor "Young
DUCROW."
And now this round's over, _where are we_? I'm jiggered, dear boy, if _I_
know!
Look at 'im! As perky as pickles! Weaves in like a young 'un, he do,
Jest as limber of limb as a kitten; pops in that perdigious one--two,
Like a new Eighty-tonner. Good gracious, the wetterun's all over the
shop!
He can mill you, or throw you a burster; feint, parry, duck, counter, or
stop!
Reglar mixture of MACE, Young DUTCH SAM, and a Old Pugilistical 'And!
'Ow the dooce does