brown coat. He has softened in his manner
and tends towards friendship. There is less of the grand air, less
assertion of the vast gap which yawns between the landlord and the tenant.
Presently, if I continue to prove worthy of his condescension, my rat will
eat phosphor paste out of my hand.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Jack_ (_to novice in difficulties with the tide_). "THE
NEXT TIME YOU SPORTSMEN TAKES AN OUTIN' TRY A NUMBER TWENTY-SEVEN BUS."]

* * * * *

From the obituary notice of an octogenarian:--

"He was a keen chronologist, and possessed a valuable collection of
shells."--_Provincial Paper._

Picked up, no doubt, on the sands of time.

* * * * *

THE LITTLE HORSE.

[The following fragment is taken from the play, _David Lloyd George_, which
we understand may some day be produced at the Lyric Opera House,
Hammersmith, as a companion-piece to _Abraham Lincoln_.]

The scene is laid in the House of Commons, where Sir FREDERICK BANBURY has
moved the rejection of the Poets and Verse (Nationalisation) Bill.

_Sir FREDERICK BANBURY is speaking._
But it stands to reason,
If you propose to pay them just the same
Whether they write a little or a lot,
They won't write _anything_. There will not be
Sufficient stimulus. It's human nature,
And human nature is unchangeable.
Do you imagine, Sir, that KEATS or SHELLEY
Would have produced such valuable work,
So large an output, if this precious Bill
Had been in operation at the time?
We should have had no SHAKSPEARE. And, besides,
It means the death of British poetry,
Because we can't continue to compete
With foreign countries.
_A Labour Member._ I am not a lawyer
Nor I am not a manufacturer,
But earned my bread these five-and-forty years,
Sweating and sweating. I know what sweat is....
_An Hon. Member._
You're not the only person who has sweated.
_Labour Member._
At any rate I sweated more than you did.
_Mr. SPEAKER._
I do not think these constant interruptions
Are really helping us.
_Labour Member._ So you may take it
That what I utter is an honest word,
A plain, blunt, honest and straightforward word,
Neither adorned with worthless flummery
And tricks of language--for I have no learning--
Nor yet w