WRONG, THAT'S ALL. FIFTEEN-LOVE."]

[Illustration: "BUT, MY DEAR GOOD FELLOW, I KNOW I'M RIGHT. LOVE-FIFTEEN."

"MY VERY GOOD IDIOT, YOU AREN'T. FIFTEEN-LOVE."]

[Illustration: "YOU PIG-HEADED BEAST, I AM. LOVE-FIFTEEN."

"YOU'RE A LIAR! YOU'RE NOT. FIFTEEN-LOVE."]

[Illustration: "WELL, CALL IT A LET."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE NEW RIVER "BELLE."

_Society Gossip Note._ "I also saw the Honourable Pamela Puntah, attended
by a gorgeous creation in tangerine orange and cornflower blue, with hat
and handkerchief to match."

[It was remarked that at Henley the men's river attire quite outshone the
ladies'.]]

* * * * *

WORD CHAINS.

Sheila Davies and her brother had cycled over to play tennis. They sat,
with John and myself, on the steps and watched the rain falling.

"As a matter of general interest," said Arthur Davies to me, "when a man
invites his friends and neighbours over to play tennis and it pours with
rain all the time, what is the correct thing for him to do?"

"As a matter of general interest," I answered, "the good host will send the
ladies to play the piano, if any, and to talk scandal, whether there is any
or not. He will himself conduct the men of the party to the billiard-room
or the smoking-room and offer them cigarettes and whisky--if any."

"Ah," said Davies, "then it isn't usual just to keep them sitting miserably
on the steps watching the net float away?"

John, on whose steps we were sitting, felt the need of speech.

"I have often wondered," he said, turning to Miss Davies, "how your brother
ever got into such a nice family as yours. How do you keep so cheerful with
it always about?"

"One gets used to it in time," said Miss Davies.

"I suppose so," said John. "After all, we have the same sort of family
disaster in Alan, but we manage to bear up."

Davies rose.

"You and I don't seem popular here," he said to me. "Will you conduct me to
the billiard-room or the smoking-room? I am in need of a wash."

"As a matter of general interest," said John to Miss Davies, "is it the
correct thing to wash _before_ setting out to visit friends, or can it be
left until some hours after arrival?"

Miss Davies sighed heavily.

"If you two are going to sit here thinking of clever remarks to make about
each other I shall go home. For goodness' sake let's pretend we are
enjoying ourselves."

"I _am_ enjoying myself," sai