e Prize worth winning and that is the Love
of the Niftiest Nectarine that ever came down a Crystal Stairway from
the Celestial Regions to grace this dreary World with her Holy
Presence. Yes, I mean the One you passed this morning--the One with
her hair in a Net and the Cameo Brooch. Why not annex her by Legal
Routine and settle down in a neat Cottage purchased from the Building
and Loan Association? You could raise your own Vegetables. Go to it."

Four years elapse. Our Hero now has everything. The jerry-built home
of the Early Bungalow Period stands up bravely under the Mortgage.
Little Dorothy is suspended in a Jump Chair on the Veranda facing
Myrtle Avenue, along which the Green Cars run direct to City Hall
Square. The Goddess is in the kitchen trying to make preserves out of
Watermelon Rinds, with the White House Cook Book propped open in front
of her. Friend Husband is weeding the Azaleas and grieving over the
failure of the Egg-Plant.

He finds himself gently prodded, and there is Ambition once more at
his Elbow.

"You are entitled to One Hundred Thousand Dollars," murmurs the
stealthy Promoter. "Why should some other Citizen have his Coal-Bin
right in the House while you carry it from a Shed? Your Wife should
sit at her own Dinner Table and make signs at the Maid. And as you
ride to your Work with the other dead-eyed Cattle and see all those
Strong-Arm Johnnies coming out of their Brick Mansions to hop into
their own Broughams and Coupes, have you not asked yourself why you
are in the Horse-Cars with the Plebes when you might be in a Private
Rig with the Patricians?"

For, wot ye, Gentle Reader, all this unwound from the Reel before the
first Trolley Car climbed a Hill or the first Horseless Carriage came
chugging sternly up the Boulevard.

So Ambition received special Instructions to make Our Hero worth
$100,000.

Those were the days of tall Hustling: If he saw an Opening six inches
wide, he held it with his Foot until he could insert his Elbow, and
then he braced his Shoulder, and the first thing you knew he was on
the Inside demanding a fair cut of the Swag.

The Golden Rule received many a Jolt, but he adhered strictly to the
old and favorite Admonition: If you want Yours, take a short piece of
Lead Pipe and go out and Collect.

On a certain January First he made a careful Invoice. All the
Hard-Earned Kale dropped into the Mining Companies or loaned to
Relatives of Wife he marked off and put under