ned in time for tea, and then Mrs. Bumpkin would go to
evening service, while Mr. Bumpkin would wait for her on the little piece
of green near the church, where neighbours used to meet and chat of a
Sunday evening; such as old Mr. Gosling, the market gardener, and old
Master Mott, the head gardener to the Squire, and Master Cole, the
farmer, and various others, the original inhabitants of Yokelton;
discussing the weather and the crops, the probability of Mr. Tomson
getting in again at the vestry as waywarden; what kind of a highway rate
there would be for the coming year; how that horse got on that Mr. Sooby
bought at the fair; and various other matters of importance to a village
community. They would also pass remarks upon any striking personage who
passed them on his way to church. Mr. Prigg, for instance, the village
lawyer, who, they said, was a remarkably upright and down-straight sort
of man; although his wife, they thought, was "a little bit stuck up like"
and gave herself airs a little different from Mrs. Goodheart, who would
"always talk to 'em jist the same as if she was one o' th' people." So
that, on the whole, they entertained themselves very amicably until such
time as the "organ played the people out of church." Then every one
looked for his wife or daughter, as the case might be, and wished one
another good night: most of them having been to church in the morning,
they did not think it necessary to repeat the performance in the evening.

CHAPTER III.

Showing how true it is that it takes at least two to make a bargain or a
quarrel.

The day after the events which I have recorded, while the good farmer and
his wife were at breakfast, which was about seven o'clock, Joe presented
himself in the sitting-room, and said:

"Plase, maister, here be t' money for t' pig."

"Money for t' pig," exclaimed Mr. Bumpkin; "what's thee mean, lad? what
pig?"

"Maister Snooks!" said Joe, "there ur be, gwine wi' t' pig in t' barrer."

Nothing shall induce me to repeat the language of Mr. Bumpkin, as he
jumped up from the table, and without hat or cap rushed out of the room,
followed by Joe, and watched by Mrs. Bumpkin from the door. Just as he
got to the farmyard by one gate, there was Snooks leaving it by another
with Mr. Bumpkin's pig in a sack in the box barrow which he was wheeling.

"Hulloa!" shouted the farmer; "hulloa here! Thee put un down--dang thee,
what be this? I said thee shouldn't ave un,