be 't all about?"

"Well, I'll tell you," said Horatio, holding out his hands and putting
the point of his right forefinger on to the point of the forefinger of
his left hand. "First: biography of the plaintiff."

"There now," said Bumpkin, shaking the reins; "thee med jist as well talk
Greek--it's the same wally (value) to me, for I doan't understan' a
word--bography, indade!"

"Well then, Mr. Bumpkin, there is first a history of your life."

"Good lord, what be that for?"

"I'll tell you presently--then there's the history of Mrs. Bumpkin from
the cradle." (Mr. Bumpkin uttered an exclamation which nothing shall
induce me to put on paper.) "Then"--and here the young man had reached
the third finger of the left hand--"then comes a history of the defendant
Snooks."

"Ah!" said Bumpkin, as though they were getting nearer the mark; "that be
summut like--that'll do un--have you put in about the gal?"

"What's that?" asked the youth.

"Oh! didn't thee 'ear? Why, thee 'st left out the best part o' Snooks'
life; he were keepin company wi' a gal and left her in t' lurch: but I
'ope thee 'st shown up ur carater well in other ways--he be the worst man
as ever lived in this 'ere country."

"Well," said Horatio, travelling towards his little finger; "then there's
the history of the pig."

"Zounds!" laughed the farmer, "if ever I eerd tell o' such a thing in my
bornd days. What the devil be the good o' thic?"

"O, a good deal; the longer you make the brief the more money you
get--you are paid by the yard. They don't pay lawyers accordin' to the
value of their services, but the length of 'em."

"Well, look ee 'ere, if I sells a pig it ain't wallied by its length, but
by its weight."

"It ain't so with lawyers then," rejoined Horatio; "the taxing master
takes the length of the pig, and his tail counts, and the longer the tail
the better the taxing master likes it; then comes,"--(as the young lad
had only four fingers he was obliged to have recourse to his thumb,
placing his forefinger thereon)--"then comes about ten pages on the
immortality of the soul."

"That be the tail, I spoase."

"You got it," said Horatio, laughing. "O, he's a stunner on the
immortality of the soul."

"Who be?--Snooks?"

"No--Prigg--he goes into it like winkin'."

"But what be it to do with thic case?"

"Well, if you only put in a brief what had got to do with the case it
would be a poor thing."

And I saw in my dream that the