dreaming," said my wife; "and I fear have had a nightmare."
When I was thoroughly aroused, and had refilled my pipe, I told her all
my dream.

Then cried she, "I hope good Mr. Bumpkin will get up safely with that
great bundle."

"It doesn't matter," said I, "whether he do or not; he will have to bear
its burden, whether he take it up or bring it back. He will have to
bring it down again after showing it to the gentlemen at the top."

"What do they want to see it for?" cried she.

"They have no wish to see it," I replied; "on the contrary, they would
rather not. They will simply say he is a very foolish man for his pains
to clamber up so high with so useless a burden."

"But why don't they check him?"

"Because they have no power; they look and wonder at the folly of
mankind, who can devise no better scheme of amusement for getting rid of
their money."

"But the lawyers are wise people, and they should know better."

"The lawyers," said I, "do know better; and all respectable lawyers
detest the complicated system which brings them more abuse than fees.
They see men, permitted by the law, without character and conscience,
bring disgrace on an honourable body of practitioners."

"But do they not remonstrate?"

"They do, but with little effect; no one knows who is responsible for the
mischief or how to cure it."

"That is strange."

"Yes, but the time will come when the people will insist on a cheaper and
more expeditious system. Half-a-dozen solicitors and members of the
junior bar could devise such a system in a week."

"Then why are they not permitted to take it in hand?"

"Because," said I, "Old Fogeyism has, at present, only got the gout in
one leg; wait till he has it in both, and then Common Sense will rise to
the occasion."

"But what," quoth she, "is this fine art you spoke of?"

"Pleading!"

"Yes; in what consists its great art?"

"In artfulness," quoth I.

Then there was a pause, and at length I said, "I will endeavour to give
you an illustration of the process of pleading from ancient history: you
have heard, I doubt not, of Joseph and his Brethren."

"O, to be sure," cried she; "did they not put him in the pit?"

"Well, I believe they put him in the pit, but I am not referring to that.
The corn in Egypt is what I mean."

"When they found all their money in their sacks' mouths?"

"Exactly. Now if Joseph had prosecuted those men for stealing the money,
they would simply have plea