, o' the Monday
mornin I goes with my barrer and a sack and I fetches the pig and gies
the money to his man Joe Wurzel; leastways I puts it on the poast and he
takes it up. Then out comes Bumpkin and swears I never bought un at all,
gets in a rage and hits the bag wi' a stick--"

"Now stop," said the Lawyer; "are you quite sure he did not strike _you_?
That's the point."

"Well, sir, he would a' done if I adn't a bobbed."

"Good: that's an assault in law. You are sure he would have struck you
if you hadn't ducked or bobbed your head?"

"In course it would, else why should I bob?"

"Just so--just so. Now then, we've got him there--we've got him nicely."

Snooks' eyes gleamed.

"Next I want to know: I suppose you didn't owe him anything?"

"No, nor no other man," said Snooks, with an air of triumph. "I worked
hard for what I got, and no man can't ax me for a farden. I allays paid
twenty shillings in the pound."

The reader will observe how virtuous both parties were on this point.

"So!" said Locust. "Now you haven't told me all that took place."

"That be about all, sir."

"Yes, yes; but I suppose there was something said between you--did you
have any words--was he angry--did he call you any names or say anything
in an angry way?"

"Well, not partickler--"

"Not particular: I will judge of that. Just tell me what was said."

"When, sir?"

"Well, begin on the Sunday morning. What was first said?"

Then Snooks told the Solicitor all that took place, with sundry additions
which his imagination supplied when his memory failed.

"And I member the price wull, becos he said 'You beant sellin coals,
recollect, so you doant ave me."

"Ho! ho!" exclaimed Locust rubbing his hands, "You are sure he said
that?" writing down the words carefully.

"I be."

"That will do, we've got him: we've got him nicely. Was anybody present
when he said this?"

"Yes, sir. Joe were there, and t' best o' my belief, Mrs. Bumpkin."

"Never mind Mrs. Bumpkin. I don't suppose she was there, if you come to
recollect; it's quite enough if Joe was present and could hear what was
said. I suppose he could hear it?"

"Stood cloase by."

"Very well--that is slander--and slander of a very gross kind. We've got
him."

"Be it?" said Snooks.

"I'll show you," said Locust; "in law a man slanders you if he insinuates
that you are dishonest; now what does this Bumpkin do? he says 'you don't
have me,' meaning thereby that