e.

"I _believe_," said Mr. Locust, "I am right?"

"You're about right, sir."

"Very charming, very gratifying to one's feelings," continued Mr. Locust;
"and then, just as you are beginning to get comfortable and getting your
family placed in the world, here comes this what shall I call him, I
never like to use strong language, this intolerable blackguard, and calls
you a thief--a detestable thief."

"Well, he didn't use that air word, sir--I wool say that," said Mr.
Snooks.

"In law he did, my good man--he meant it and said it--he insinuated that
you cheated the poor--you serve a good many of the poor, I think?"

"I do, sir."

"Well, he insinuated that you cheated them by giving short weight and bad
coals--that is worse than being a thief, to my mind--such a man deserves
hanging."

"Damn him," said Snooks, "that's it, is it?"

"That's it, my dear sir, smooth it over as you will. I don't want to
make more of it than necessary, but we must look at it fairly and study
the consequences. Now I want to ask you particularly, because we must
claim special damage for this, if possible--have you lost any customers
through this outrageous slander?"

"Can't say I have, rightly, sir."

"No, but you will--mark my words, as soon as people hear of this they
will cease to deal with you. They can't deal with you."

"I hope not, sir."

"So do I; but let me tell Mr. Bumpkin" (here the learned man shook his
forefinger as though it had been the often quoted finger of scorn) "that
for every customer you lose we'll make him answerable in damages. He'll
repeat this slander: take my advice and get some one to look out, and
make a note of it--be on your guard!"

Snooks wiped the perspiration from his forehead and then threw his large
coloured handkerchief into his hat, which he held by both hands between
his knees,

"It be a bad case then, sir?"

"A very bad case for Bumpkin!" replied Mr. Locust; "let me have a list of
your customers as soon as you can, and we shall see who leaves you in
consequence of this slander. Does my friend, Mr. Overrighteous, deal
with you? I think he does?"

"He do, sir, and have for five or six years--and a good customer he be."

"Ah! now, there's a man! Whatever you do don't let Mr. Overrighteous
know of it: he would leave you directly: a more particular man than that
can't be. Then again, there is my friend Flythekite, does he deal with
you? Of course he does!"

"Yes, sir."

"And