ink I wool," said Bumpkin, turning the letter round and round, and
over and over, as though there was some special private entrance which
could only be discovered by the closest search. At length Mrs. Oldtimes'
curiosity was gratified, for he found a way in, and drew out the many
folded letter of the most difficult penmanship that ever was subjected to
mortal gaze. It was not that the writing was illegible, but that the
spelling was so extraordinary, and the terms of expression so varied.
Had I to interpret this letter without the aid of a dream I should have a
long and difficult task before me. But it is the privilege of dreamers
to see things clearly and in a moment: to live a lifetime in a few
seconds, and to traverse oceans in the space of a single respiration.
So, in the present instance, that which took Mr. Bumpkin, with the help
of Mrs. Oldtimes and the occasional assistance of Lucy an hour to
decipher, flashed before me in a single second. I ought perhaps to
translate it into a more civilized language, but that would be impossible
without spoiling the effect and disturbing the continuity of character
which is so essential in a work made up of various actors. Mr. Bumpkin
himself in his ordinary costume would be no more out of place in my Lord
Mayor's state carriage than Mrs. Bumpkin wielding the Queen's English in
its statelier and more fashionable adornment. So I give it as it was
written. It began in a bold but irregular hand, and clearly indicated a
certain agitation of mind not altogether in keeping with the even
temperament of the writer's daily life.

"Deer Tom" (the letter began), "I ope thee be well for it be a long time
agoo since thee left ere I cant mak un out wot be all this bother about
a pig but Tom thee'll be glad to ear as I be doin weel the lamin be over
and we got semteen as pooty lams as ever thee clapped eyes on The weet
be lookin well and so be the barly an wuts thee'll be glad Tom to ear wot
good luck I been avin wi sellin Mister Prigg have the kolt for twenty
pun a pun more an the Squoire ofered Sam broked er in and ur do look
well in Mrs. Prigg faten I met un the tother day Mr. Prigg wur drivin un
an he tooked off his at jist th' sam as if I'd been a lady Missis Prigg
din't see me as her edd wur turned th' tother way I be glad to tell ee
we sold the wuts ten quorter these was bort by Mister Prigg and so wur
the stror ten load as clane and brite as ever thee seed Mr. Prigg be a