un thic feller can talk."

"Ha, how d'ye do, Mr. Swindle?" said a shabby-looking gentleman, who came
up at this moment.

"Excuse me, sir; but you have the advantage of me," said Alibi, winking.

"Dear me, how very strange, I thought you were Mr. Wideawake's
representative."

"Ah!" said Mr. Alibi, laughing, "we are often taken for brothers--and
yet, would you believe me, there is no relationship."

"No?" said the gentleman.

"None, whatever. I think you'll find him in the Second Court, if not,
he'll be there in a short time. I saw him only just now."

That is how I learned that Mr. Alibi represented the Crown and Mr.
Deadandgone for the prosecutor; also the prisoner, and Mr. Wideawake for
the defence. Clever man!

"Now," said Mr. Bumpkin, "Can't un get a new trial?"

"I fear not," said Alibi; "but I should not be in the least surprised if
that Wideawake, who represented the prisoner, brought an action against
you for false imprisonment and malicious prosecution."

"What, thic thief?"

"Ah, sir--law is a very deep pit--it's depth is not to be measured by any
moral plummet."

"Doan't 'zacly zee't."

"Well, it's this," said Mr. Alibi. "Whether you're right or whether
you're wrong, if he brings an action you must defend it--it's not your
being in the right will save you."

"Then, what wool?" asked Mr. Bumpkin.

Mr. Alibi did not know, unless it was instructing him in due time and not
leaving it to the last moment. That seemed the only safe course.

Mr. Bumpkin took off his hat, drew out his handkerchief, and wiped the
perspiration from his forehead. Then he breathed heavily. Now at this
moment a strange phenomenon occurred, not to be passed over in this
truthful history. Past Mr. Bumpkin's ear something shot, in appearance
like a human fist, in velocity like a thunderbolt, and unfortunately it
alighted full on the nose and eye of the great Mr. Alibi, causing that
gentleman to reel back into the arms of the faithful thieves around. I
cannot tell from what quarter it proceeded, it was so sudden, but I saw
that in the neighbourhood whence it came stood five tall hussars, and I
heard a voice say:

"Now, look at that. Come on, Maister, don't let us git into no row."

Mr. Bumpkin, with the politeness of his nature, said:

"Good marnin', sir," and retired.

And thus thought the unfortunate prosecutor: "This 'ere country be all
law, actions grows out o' actions, like that 'ere cooch that runs all