ir
thirst for horrors in the only way the law now leaves open to them. The
Beauty of Spain is better provided for. What a blessed thing is
humanity!

It is due to Mr. Newboy, the counsel for the prosecution in the great
case of _Regina_ v. _Simpleman_, to say that he had only lately been
called to the Bar, and only "_instructed_," as the prisoner was placed in
the dock. Consequently, he had not had time to read his brief. I do not
know that that was a disadvantage, inasmuch as the brief consisted in
what purported to be a copy of the depositions so illegibly scrawled that
it would have required the most intense study to make out the meaning of
a single line.

Mr. Newboy was by no means devoid of ability; but no amount of ability
would give a man a knowledge of the facts of a case which were never
communicated to him. In its simplicity the prosecution was beautifully
commonplace, and five minutes' consideration would have been sufficient
to enable counsel to master the details and be prepared to meet the
defence. Alas, for the lack of those five minutes! The more Mr. Newboy
looked at the writing (?) the more confused he got. All he could make
out was his own name, and _Reg._ v. _Somebody_ on the back.

Now it happened that Mr. Alibi saw the difficulty in which Mr. Newboy
was, and knowing that his, Alibi's, clerk, was not remarkable for
penmanship, handed to the learned counsel at the last moment, when the
last juryman was being bawled at with the "well and truly try," a copy of
the depositions.

The first name at the top of the first page which caught the eye of the
learned counsel, was that of the prisoner; for the depositions commence
in such a way as to show the name of the prisoner in close proximity to,
if not among the names of witnesses.

So Mr. Newboy, in his confusion, taking the name of the prisoner as his
first witness, shouted out in a bold voice, to give himself courage,
"_Simon Simpleman_."

"'Ere!" answered the prisoner.

The learned Judge was a little astonished; and, although, he had got his
criminal law up with remarkable rapidity, his lordship knew well enough
that you cannot call the prisoner as a witness either for or against
himself. Mr. Newboy perceived his mistake and apologised. The laugh, of
course, went round against him; and when it got to Mr. Nimble, that merry
gentleman slid it into the jury-box with a turn of his eyes and a twist
of his mouth. The counsel for the prosecu