was wondering when he should be called before the Grand Jury. Mr. Alibi,
that was the dark gentleman's name, knew all about Mr. Bumpkin's case,
his condition of mind, and his impatience; and he said deferentially:

"You are waiting to go before the Grand Jury, I suppose, sir?"

"I be," answered Bumpkin.

"Where's your policeman?" enquired Alibi.

"I doant know," said Bumpkin.

"What's his number?"

"Sev'n hunderd and sev'nty."

"O, I know," said Alibi; "why not let me get you before the Grand Jury at
once, instead of waiting about here all day, and perhaps to-morrow and
the next day, and the day after that; besides, the sooner you go before
the Grand Jury, the sooner your case will come on; that stands to common
sense, I think."

"So ur do," answered the farmer.

"You will be here a month if you don't look out. Have you got any
counsel or solicitor?"

"Noa, I beant; my case be that plaain, it spaks for itself."

"Ah!" said Mr. Alibi; "they won't always let a case speak for
itself--they very often stop it--but if you can get a counsel for
nothing, why not have one; that stands to reason, I think?"

"For nothing? well that be the fust time I ever eeard o' a loryer as
chape as thic."

How it could pay was the wonder to Mr. Bumpkin. And what a strange
delusion it must seem to the mind of the general reader! But wait,
gentle peruser of this history, you shall see this strange sight.

"If you like to have a counsel and a lawyer to conduct your case, sir, it
shall not cost you a farthing, I give you my word of honour! What do you
think of that?"

What could Mr. Bumpkin think of that? What a pity that he had not met
this gentleman before! Probably he would have brought several actions if
he had; for if you could work the machinery of the law for nothing, you
would always stand to win.

"O," said Mr. Alibi, "here is seven hundred and seventy! This gentleman
wants a counsel, and I've been telling him he can have one, and it won't
cost him anything."

"That's right enough," said the Policeman; "but it ain't nothin' to do
with me!"

"Just step this way, sir, we'll soon have this case on," said Alibi; and
he led the way to the back room of a public-house, which seemed to be
used as a "hedge" lawyer's office.

"Med I mak so bold, sir; be thee a loryer?"

"No," answered Alibi, "I am clerk to Mr. Deadandgone."

"And don't Mr. Deadandam charge nothin'?"

"O dear, no!"

What a very nice man Mr. Dead