andam must be!

"You see," said Alibi, "the Crown pays us!"

"The Crown!"

And here Mr. Alibi slipped a crown-piece into the artfully extended palm
of the policeman, who said:

"It ain't nothin' to do wi' me; but the gentleman's quite right, the
Crown pays." And he dropped the money into his leather purse, which he
rolled up carefully and placed in his pocket.

"You see," said Alibi, "I act as the Public Prosecutor, who can't be
expected to do everything--you can't grind all the wheat in the country
in one mill, that stands to common sense."

"That be right, that's werry good,"

"And," continued Mr. Alibi, "the Government allows two guineas for
counsel, a guinea for the solicitor, and so on, and the witnesses, don't
you see?"

"Zactly!" said Bumpkin.

"And that's quite enough," continued Alibi; "we don't want anything from
the prosecutor--that's right, policeman!"

"It ain't nothink to do wi' me," said the policeman; "but what this 'ere
gentleman says is the law."

"There," said Alibi, "I told you so."

"I spose," said the policeman, "you don't want me, gentlemen; it ain't
nothink to do with me?"

"Oh, no, Leary," replied Alibi; "we don't want you; the case is pretty
straight, I suppose."

"Oh, yes, sir; I expects it'll be a plea of guilty. There ain't no
defence, not as I'm aware of."

"Oh," said Alibi, "that's all right--keep your witnesses together,
Leary--don't be out of the way."

"No, sir," says Leary; "I thinks I knows my dooty."

And with this he slouched out of the room, and went and refreshed himself
at the bar.

In two or three minutes the policeman returned, and was in the act of
drawing the back of his hand across his mouth, when Alibi said:

"Yes?"

"Beg pardin, sir; but there's another gentleman wants to see you--I
thinks he wants you to defend ---; but it ain't nothink to do wi' me,
sir."

"Very good," answered Alibi, "very good; now let me see--"

"You got the Baker's case?" said Leary.

"Yes," said Alibi; "O, yes--embezzlement."

Everything was thus far satisfactorily settled, and Mr. Bumpkin's
interests duly represented by Mr. Deadandgone, an eminent practitioner.
No doubt the services of competent counsel would be procured, and the
case fully presented to the consideration of an intelligent jury.

Who shall say after this that the Old Bailey is _not_ the Heart of
Civilization?

I pass over the preliminary canter of Mr. Bumpkin before the Grand Jury;
the decision