e, your good health, Mr.
Bumkin, and success to our lawsuit. I call it _ours_ now, for I really
feel as interested in it as you do yourself; by-the-bye, what's it all
about, Mr. Bumpkin?"

"Well, sir, you see," replied the astute man, "I hardly knows; it beginnd
about a pig, but what it's about now, be more un I can tell thee. I
think it be salt and trespass."

"You have not enquired?"

"No, I beant; I left un all in the hands o' my lawyer, and I believe he's
a goodun, bean't he?"

"Let me see; O dear, yes, a capital man--a very good man indeed, a close
shaver."

"Is ur? and that's what I want. I wants thic feller shaved as close to
his chin as may be."

"Ah!" said O'Rapley, "and Prigg will shave him, and no mistake. Well,
and how did we get on at the Mansion House? First of all, who was
against you?--Mrs. Oldtimes, I _think_ I'll just take a very small
quantity more, it has quite removed my indigestion--who was against you,
sir?"

"Mr. Nimble; but, lor, he worn't nowhere; I had un to rights,--jest gi'e
me a leetle more, missus,--he couldn't axe I a question I couldn't
answer; and I believe he said as good, for I zeed un talking to the Lord
Mayor; it worn't no use to question I."

"You didn't say anything about me?"

"No," answered Bumpkin, in a loud whisper; "I din't; but I did say afore
I could stop the word from comin' out o' my mouth as I had a _companion_,
but they didn't ketch it, except that the gentleman under the lord mayor
were gwine to ax about thee, and blowed if the counsellor didn't stop un;
so that be all right."

"Capital!" exclaimed the great bowler, waving his arm as if in the act of
delivery; then, in a whisper, "Did they ask about the woman?"

"Noa--they doan't know nowt about thic--not a word; I was mighty plased
at un, for although, as thee be aware, it be the biggest lie as ever wur
heard, I wouldn't have my wife hear o' sich to save my life. She be a
good wife to I an' allays have a bin; but there I thee could clear me in
a minute, if need be, sir."

"Yes, but you see," said the artful Don, "if I was to appear, it would
make a sensational case of it in a minute and fill all the papers."

"Would ur now? Morn't do that nuther; but, wot d'ye think, sir? As I
wur leavin' the Cooart, a gemman comes up and he says, says he, 'I
spoase, sir, you don't want this thing put in the papers?' How the dooce
he knowed that, I can't make out, onless that I wouldn't say where I
lived, fo