y awake."

"You have been talking of Joe Wurzel again."

"O, to be sure. What about him?"

"Then you mentioned Mr. Outofwork and Mr. Lazyman and Mr. Devilmecare,
and another whose name I did not catch."

"Ah," I asked, "did they go for soldiers?"

"At present, no, except Harry, for whom I was heartily sorry, he seemed
such a nice disappointed lad. But pray who is this Sergeant Goodtale?"

"He is on recruiting service, a very fine, persuasive fellow."

"But he didn't seem to press these people or use any arts to entice them:
I like him for that. He rather seemed to me to discourage them from
enlisting. He might have been sure poor Harry meant it, because, as I
take it, he was half-starved, and yet he desired him to wait till the
morning."

"I think," said I, "his conduct was artful if you examine it with
reference to its effect on the others; but he is an extraordinary man,
this Sergeant Goodtale--was never known to persuade any one to enlist, I
believe."

"But he seemed to get along very well."

"Very; I thought he got along very comfortably."

"Then there was one Lucy Prettyface!"

"Ah, I don't remember her," cried I, alarmed lest I might have said
anything in my dream for which I was not responsible.

"Why she was the girl who sewed the colours on and somebody called 'my
dear.'"

"I assure you," I said, "it was not I: it must have been the Sergeant;
but I have no recollection--O yes, to be sure, she was the waitress."

"You remember her now?"

"Well," said I, determined not to yield if I could possibly help it, "I
can't say that I do. I know there was a person who sewed colours on and
whom the Sergeant called 'my dear,' but further than that I should not
like to pledge myself. Yes--yes--to be sure," and here I went on
talking, as it were, to myself, for I find it is much better to talk to
yourself if you find it difficult to carry on a conversation with other
persons.

"She was pretty, wasn't she?" said my wife with an arch look.

I gave her a look just as arch, as I replied,

"Really I hardly looked at her; but I should say _not_." I make a point
of never saying any one is pretty.

"Joe thought her so."

"Did he? Well she may have been, but I never went in for Beauty myself."

"You shocking man," said my wife, "do you perceive what you are saying?"

"Why, of course; but you take me up so sharply: if you had not cut me off
in the flower of my speech you would have been gratified at