,
My tonic in _The Times_;
Daily recovered tone and grit
Reading about my crimes;
But one strong foe is what we lack
To put us on our best behaviour;
That's why in you I welcome back
The Coalition's saviour.

O.S.

* * * * *

AUCTION IN THE SPACIOUS TIMES.

"It is Our Royal pleasure to will and declare one diamond," said the VIRGIN
QUEEN, when the Keeper of the Privy Purse had arranged her hand for her.
Sir WALTER RALEIGH, who sat on her left, was on his feet in a twinkling.
"Like to like, 'twas ever thus," he murmured, bowing low to his Sovereign.
"I crave leave to call two humble clubs, as becometh so mean a subject of
Your Majesty," It is not known whether his allusion to the QUEEN'S call was
intended to refer to the diamond rings upon HER MAJESTY'S fingers or to the
scintillating glint in HER MAJESTY'S eyes, but she inclined her head
graciously in acknowledgment of his remarks before turning to her partner.

"What say you, my Lord of LEICESTER?" she asked. "Wilt support a poor weak
woman?" His Lordship, however, looked down his noble nose and said nothing
for quite a long time. He found himself, to use a vulgar phrase, in the
_consomme_. His hand contained the ace, king and six other spades, nothing
to write home about in hearts or clubs, and one small diamond. To take from
his partner the right to play the hand would be the act of a fool--the mere
thought made him raise a hand to his neck as though to assure himself of
its continuity. Even failure to support her call would be looked on as
ungallant, if nothing worse.

"How now, sirrah? Art sleeping in Our presence?" prompted the QUEEN
sharply.

The EARL swallowed noisily once or twice, just to show that he was awake,
and then plunged.

"An it please you, Madam, two diamonds," he muttered, with but a sorry show
of his habitual arrogance.

"Double!" said Sir FRANCIS DRAKE in crisp seamanlike tones, whereat the
Earl of LEICESTER was seen to fumble for the hilt of his rapier.

"Stay, my Lord," his liege commanded; "'tis true the Knight hath left his
manners in Devonshire, or on the Spanish main mayhap, but keep your brawl
for an hour and place more fitting. We redouble."

A momentary silence followed the QUEEN'S discourse, cut short by the
uncouth ejaculation "'Ods fish!" which escaped from Sir FRANCIS apparently
without his consent. He embarked on an apology at once, based on the fact
that he wa