premely docile,
Your well-fed look of undisturbed content
(Doubtless you find this land an adipose isle
After lean times on active service spent),
I do not join with those who hymn your praises
For calmness mid the turmoil of the town;
I find myself consigning you to blazes--
James, you have let me down.

For I am one who, after having striven,
A hero (_vide_ Press) though far from bold,
Has come back home and, naturally, given
Artistic touches to the tales he's told;
The Transport was my scene of martial labours;
That was the section where I saw it through;
And I have told astonished friends and neighbours
Some lurid yarns of you.

You are the theme I have been wont to brag on;
I've told how you, my now innocuous moke,
Would chew the tail-board off a G.S. wagon
By way of mere _plaisanterie_ (or joke);
Dubbed you most diabolical of ragers,
A rampant hooligan, a fetid tough,
A thing without respect for sergeant-majors--
That is to say, hot stuff.

Full many a fair young thing I've seen displaying
A sympathetic pallor on her cheek
And wonder in her eye, when I've been saying
How almost every day in Salonique
You jazzed with me on brinks of precipices;
But when I talk to-day they cannot fail
To think of you in town and murmur, "This is
A likely sort of tale."

To take, without one thought of evil plotting,
Even without one last protesting kick,
Thus kindly to somnambulistic trotting--
Oh, James, old pal, it was a dirty trick;
To show the yarns I'd told of you and written
(In letters home) were not entirely swank
At very least, I think, you might have bitten
The policeman at the Bank.

* * * * *

BOAT RACE "INTELLIGENCE."

"The Oxford University crew arrived at Henley yesterday for a week's
practice. The Cambridge president, Mr. E.A. Berrisford, accompanied the
crew as spare man."--_Provincial Paper._

* * * * *

"The Government, said Mr. Bonar Law, had not received any intimation
from the Netherlands Government that Holland had decided to keep the
ex-Kaiser in Curacoa."--_Evening Standard._

Good news for Mr. PUSSYFOOT.

* * * * *

"ESSEX and SUSSEX BORDERS.--To be Let, well-built Mansion, surrounded
by fine gardens, situate in one of the finest part