fortune's befallen me. Look, gallants, I am sent for to come
down to my father's burial.

WEN. But dost mean to go?

ILF. Troth, no; I'll go down to take possession of his land: let the
country bury him, and they will. I'll stay here a while, to save charge
at his funeral.

BAR. And how dost feel thyself, Frank, now thy father is dead?

ILF. As I did before, with my hands; how should I feel myself else? but
I'll tell you news, gallants.

WEN. What's that? dost mean now to serve God?

ILF. Faith, partly; for I intend shortly to go to church, and from
thence do faithful service to one woman.

_Enter_ BUTLER.

BUT. Good! I have met my flesh-hooks together. [_Aside_.]

BAR. What, dost mean to be married?

ILF. Ay, mongrel, married.

BUT. That's a bait for me. [_Aside_.]

ILF. I will now be honestly married.

WEN. It's impossible, for thou hast been a whoremaster this seven year.

ILF. 'Tis no matter; I will now marry, and to some honest woman too; and
so from hence her virtues shall be a countenance to my vices.

BAR. What shall she be, prythee?

ILF. No lady, no widow, nor no waiting gentlewoman, for under protection
Ladies may lard their husbands' heads,
Widows will woodcocks make,
And chambermaids of servingmen
Learn that they'll never forsake.

WEN. Who wilt thou wed then, prythee?

ILF. To any maid, so she be fair:
To any maid, so she be rich:
To any maid, so she be young:
And to any maid--

BAR. So she be honest.

ILF. Faith, it's no great matter for her honesty, for in these days
that's a dowry out of request.

BUT. From these crabs will I gather sweetness: wherein I'll imitate the
bee, that sucks her honey, not from the sweetest flowers, but [from]
thyme, the bitterest: so these having been the means to beggar my
master, shall be the helps to relieve his brothers and sister.
[_Aside_.]

ILF. To whom shall I now be a suitor?

BUT. Fair fall ye, gallants.

ILF. Nay, and she be fair, she shall fall sure enough. Butler, how
is't, good butler?

BUT. Will you be made gallants?

WEN. Ay, but not willingly cuckolds, though we are now talking about
wives.

BUT. Let your wives agree of that after: will you first be richly
married?

ALL. How, butler? richly married?

BUT. Rich in beauty, rich in purse, rich in virtue, rich in all things.
But mum, I'll say nothing, I know of two or three rich heirs. But
cargo![403