couple of abominable woodcocks here.

ILF. A pox on them! absolute coxcombs.

BUT. You heard me tell them I had intelligence to give of three
gentlewomen.

ILF. True.

BUT. Now indeed, sir, I have but the performance of one.

ILF. Good.

BUT. And her I do intend for you, only for you.

ILF. Honest butler.

BUT. Now, sir, she being but lately come to this town, and so nearly
watched by the jealous eyes of her friends, she being a rich heir,[406]
lest she should be stolen away by some dissolute prodigal or
desperate-estated spendthrift, as you have been, sir--

ILF. O, but that's passed, butler.

BUT. True, I know't, and intend now but to make use of them, flatter
them with hopeful promises, and make them needful instruments.

ILF. To help me to the wench?

BUT. You have hit it--which thus must be effected: first by keeping
close your purpose.

ILF. Good.

BUT. Also concealing from them the lodging, beauty, and riches of your
new, but admirable mistress.

ILF. Excellent.

BUT. Of which your following happiness if they should know, either in
envy of your good or hope of their own advancement, they'd make our
labours known to the gentlewoman's uncles, and so our benefit be
frustrate.

ILF. Admirable, butler.

BUT. Which done, all's but this: being, as you shall be, brought into
her company, and by my praising your virtues, you get possession of her
love, one morning step to the Tower, or to make all sure, hire some
stipendiary priest for money--for money in these days what will not be
done, and what will not a man do for a rich wife?--and with him make no
more ado but marry her in her lodging, and being married, lie with her,
and spare not.

ILF. Do they not see us, do they not see us? let me kiss thee, let me
kiss thee, butler! let but this be done, and all the benefit, requital
and happiness I can promise thee for't, shall be this--I'll be thy rich
master, and thou shalt carry my purse.

BUT. Enough, meet me at her lodging some half an hour hence: hark, she
lies--[407]

ILF. I ha't.

BUT. Fail not.

ILF. Will I live?

BUT. I will, but shift off these two rhinoceros.

ILF. Widgeons, widgeons: a couple of gulls!

BUT. With some discourse of hope to wive them too, and be with you
straight.

ILF. Blessed day! my love shall be thy cushion, honest butler.
[_Exit_.

BUT. So now to my t'other gallants.

WEN. O butler, we have been in