time, hell," said the man, who has a pew in two churches, as he
kicked his limp satchel of dirty clothes under the car seat. "I had
rather been sentenced to the house of correction for a month."

"Why, what's the trouble?"

"Well, there is no trouble, for people who like that kind of fun, but
this lets me out. I do not blame people who live in Southern States for
coming North, because they enjoy things as a luxury that we who live in
Wisconsin have as a regular diet, but for a Chicago or Milwaukee man to
go into the country to swelter and be kept awake nights is bald lunacy.
Why, since I have been out I have slept in a room a size smaller than
the closet my wife keeps her linen in, with one window that brought in
air from a laundry, and I slept on a cot that shut up like a jack-knife
and always caught me in the hinge where it hurt.

"At another hotel I had a broken-handled pitcher of water that had been
used to rinse clothes in, and I can show you the indigo on my neck. I
had a piece of soap that smelled like a tannery, and if the towel was
not a recent damp diaper then I have never raised six children.

"At one hotel I was the first man at the table, and two families came in
and were waited on before the Senegambian would look at me, and after
an hour and thirty minutes I got a chance to order some roast beef and
baked potatoes, but the perspiring, thick-headed pirate brought me some
boiled mutton and potatoes that looked as though they had been put in a
wash-tub and mashed by treading on them barefooted. I paid twenty-five
cents for a lemonade made of water and vinegar, with a piece of
something on top that might be lemon peel, and it might be pumpkin rind.

"The only night's rest I got was one night when I slept in a car seat.
At the hotel the regular guests were kept awake till 12 o'clock by
number six headed boys and girls dancing until midnight to the music of
a professional piano boxer, and then for two hours the young folks sat
on the stair? and yelled and laughed, and after that the girls went to
bed and talked two hours more, while the boys went and got drunk and
sang 'Allegezan and Kalamazoo.'

"Why, at one place I was woke up at 3 o'clock in the morning by what I
thought was a chariot race in the hall outside, but it was only a lot
of young bloods rolling ten pins down by the rooms, using empty wine
bottles for pins and China cuspidores for balls. I would have gone
out and shot enough drunken galoots f