felt pains in his
feet. The judge was frightened in a minute. He is afraid of paralysis,
all the boys know it, and when he told a wicked republican named Spencer
how his feet felt, that degraded man told the judge that it was one of
the surest symptoms of paralysis in the world, and advised him to hunt a
doctor.

The judge pranced off, interfering at every step, skinning his shins,
and found Dr. Hoyt. The doctor is one of the worst men in the world, and
when he saw how the shoes were put on he told the judge that his case
was hopeless unless something was done immediately. The judge turned
pale, the sweat poured out of him, and taking out his purse he gave the
doctor five dollars and asked him what he should do. The doctor felt his
pulse, looked at his tongue, listened at his heart, shook his head, and
then told the judge that he would be a dead man in less than sixty years
if he didn't change his shoes.

The judge looked down at the vast expanse of leather, both sections
pointing inwardly, and said, "Well, dam a fool," and "changed cars" at
the junction. As he got them on the right feet, and hired a raftsman to
tie them up for him, he said he would get even with the doctor if he had
to catch the smallpox. O, we suppose they have more fun in some of these
country towns than you can shake a stick at.

MALE AND FEMALE MASHING.

There has been a great deal of talk in the papers about arresting
"mashers," that is, young men who stand on the corners and pulverize
women, and a great many good people got the idea that it was unsafe to
travel the streets. This is not the case. A woman might travel all
day and half the night and not be insulted. Of course, once in a great
while, a woman will be insulted by a man, the same as a man will be by a
woman.

No woman, unless she throws out one eye, kind of cunning, is in danger
of having a male man throw out his other eye the same way. There has got
to be two parties to a mashing match, and one must be a woman. Too many
women act sort of queer just for fun, and the poor male man gets to
acting improper before he realizes the enormity of the crime, and then
it is everlastingly too late.

But a female masher, one who is thoroughly bad, like the male loafers
that have been driven from the corners, is a terror. She will insult a
respectable man and laugh at his blushes. One of them was arrested the
other day for playing her act on a policeman who was disguised as a
respectab