o read of the good will that,
by a large majority, occupies the heart of the Briton who writes the
letter to the Duchess of Marlborough.

You take two plates, and put on one of them the letters expressing good
will and compassion, and on the other plate you put some of the food
sent by Americans, and offer the two plates to an Irish mother whose
famishing children are tugging at her scanty skirts, and let her take
her choice. How her trembling hand would clutch the plate containing the
letters of compassion. Eh? She wouldn't take that plate, do you say? She
would take the plate with the good, honest, star-spangled food on it,
eh? O, you are mistaken. There is so much sustenance and warmth in a
letter of compassion, that the famine stricken person would no doubt
take it and make soup of it.

But if you think she wouldn't we won't argue the case. However, you
will admit that the Irish are very queer, and if they went back on their
English benefactors and took the rebellious American food, they would be
guilty of treason, of course you will. We are not astonished that
there is nothing that Strikes the Duchess with more admiration than the
generosity of the British nation. It is the most remarkable thing we
ever heard of.

THE FEMALE BURGLAR.

Every day we see that some new avenue has been opened to women, by
which they can earn a livelihood. We see by the papers that a woman
in Cleveland has been arrested as a burglar. We have no objections to
female pickpockets, for if a man must have his pockets picked, it will
be much more enjoyable to feel the delicate hand of a beautiful woman
fluttering around his pockets than a rough male hand.

Many a man who would object to having his pockets picked by a man,
would be willing to lose ten or fifteen dollars just to have a female
pickpocket go through him.

There is a field open for women as confidence men. To have a female
confidence game played on a man would leave less of a sting than to be
bilked by a male. But, as burglars, the idea seems revolting. To think
of women going about nights with a jimmy and a dark lantern, and opening
doors, or windows, and sneaking about rooms, is degrading. If a male
burglar gets in your house, and he is discovered, you can shoot him, if
you get the drop on him, or kick him down stairs; but who wants to shoot
a female burglar, or kick her over the banisters? It would be unnatural.
You would almost rather let her go ahead and burgle, a