to
keep her nerves quiet. He tries to drive with one hand and console his
good girl, who is a little cross at the turn affairs have taken, with
the other, but it is a failure, and finally his good girl says she will
drive, and then he has to put an arm around them both, which gives more
or less dissatisfaction the best way you can fix it.

If we had a boy who didn't seem to have any more sense than to make a
hat rack of himself to hang girls on in a buggy, we should labor with
him and tell him of the agonies we had experienced in youth when the
boys palmed off two girls on us to take to a country picnic, and we
believe we can do no greater favor to the young men just entering the
picnic of life than to impress upon them the importance of doing one
thing at a time, and doing it well.

*****

A young couple from Green county stopped at a Janesville hotel on their
wedding tour, and when they went to bed they were in a hurry and blew
out the gas instead of turning it off. In the night a terrible smell was
heard around the house, and suspicion naturally pointed to the bridal
chamber. The door was pounded on but there was no response, and the
people feared the young folks had gone to heaven, so the door was broken
down. They had not gone to heaven, but they were both senseless, and
were dragged out into the open air, with little ceremony and less
clothes. They were brought out of the stupor, when they looked at each
other in a reproachful manner, and as they pulled on their clothes they
each acted as though if they had known the horrors of married life they
would have remained single all their lives.

GOODWILL AND COMPASSION.

The Duchess of Marlborough, who has charge of the fund that is being
distributed to certain portions of Ireland's suffering poor, has issued
a circular pitching into Parnell and others for claiming that she is
acting in the interest of the English landlords. She closes her circular
as follows:

There is nothing that strikes me with more admiration than the
generosity of the British nation. I have innumerable letters, all
expressing good will and compassion for the calamities which a series of
bad seasons have brought to the west of Ireland.

To the family that is suffering for the necessaries of life, that would
look upon a large sized potato as a bonanza, there is nothing that
is pleasanter than to read a letter from an Englishman expressing
compassion. How it tones up the stomach t