nd am simply calculating
and recalculating over and over again. I am also in charge now of the
operating room and surgical dressings, and do massage and night duty
as before. This is just while we are here. When we go back to
Petersburg I will have the ward duty alone as before."

"I am on night duty after a very strenuous day--assisted the doctor
with the instruments and material for 25 dressings, put up eight
prescriptions myself, dressed the wounds of five Finns, spent some
time in the ward, went over the soldier's money accounts, did an hour
massage, slept one hour and tomorrow morning I am going to take the
temperatures at 6 A.M., at seven put up a bottle of digitalis, at
eight get into clean clothes, prepare the surgical dressing room for
two dressings, give the instruments and material, and at half past
eight or quarter to nine start with two soldiers for Petersburg--one
who is to be operated and the other who has been so ill for a week
that they think it best to take him back as quickly as possible.
Neither of them can sit up. Don't you think that is an undertaking? I
am going to take the train back immediately after delivering them at
the hospital and hope to get back by 5 or 6 o'clock and have a grand
rest up for Monday."

"Is life so full of resource or is the resource all in one's
imagination and state of mind. It seems to me there is so much, so
much, and yet the most sometimes seems just to suffer being 'suffered
out' by the effect of certain moral efforts."

Finland 1906.

"This whole life is something so complete and so different and I feel
now so much at home in it. Had I been different I might not have
needed what this experience has given me, but as it is, you will find
a great deal more of me and have a great deal more of me than before
I left. I know myself too well and know too well the unstableness of
my moral interior to say that I may not need again some time."

St. Petersburg 1906.

"I often wonder now, since this life here in the hospital is so
different from everything which has opened such new vistas, if there
are an indefinite number of experiences which each would offer new
points of view. For there it would seem that one must abstain from
any general conclusions upon the things of the world, owing to one's
limited experience. I am awfully glad to be thrown in this
association with the soldiers. This is quite a revelation. They are
in comparison with other people just like charts f