ll so real and every breath
meant so much."

Once finished with the Balkan war, Nelka returned to America and
joined her aunts.

Before leaving she spent several days with my mother and me in our
country place. After she left my mother wrote to Nelka:

"Max and I miss you very much. I was so happy to have you with us for
a time; your visits are always so nice and cheerful. I always
remember them with so much pleasure. We had a long talk with Max
about you and decided you were a real friend for us and Max said: 'we
must always be real friends to her.' He is very fond of you."

(I was then 16 years old and very much in love with Nelka.)

Once finished with the Balkan war, Nelka returned again to America
and joined her aunt Martha in Washington.

She brought Tibi back with her and here a tragic event took place
which had a decisive influence on both Nelka's and my life.

While in Washington Tibi somehow got hold of rat poison and despite
the help of the best veterinarian and also the help of two human
doctors who were friends of Nelka, Tibi died.

Nelka took the death of her mother in a most tragic and painful way,
but the death of Tibi affected her to a much greater degree. Her
grief was beyond all comprehension and she went into a state of utter
despair, verging on the frantic. Her Aunt Susie and a few friends
tried to help her as much as they could but absolutely nothing seemed
to help.

Just before she had left Russia, Princess Wasilchikoff had asked her
to assume the reorganization of a sister community and hospital in
Kovno, a fortress-town near the German border. Nelka did not accept
the offer though it was of considerable interest to her, because she
was then returning to America and had plans to stay with her aunts.
But when her little dog died, she quickly changed her mind and
telegraphed Princess Wasilchikoff that she was ready to accept her
proposition. This she did primarily to try and get her mind focused
on something and to get it off the brooding about Tibi. Her grief and
despair can be judged from the various letters which she wrote to her
aunt at that time, and for a long time to come.

Ashantee 1913.

"If that cannot be done I want to be buried in unconsecrated ground
with Tibi and shall arrange for it. I cannot leave Tibi where she is
buried and not know what will happen later."

"I hope when I die to know that it will be alright but I cannot get
any nearer to being reconciled now, and i