nd so we
started off in immediate danger of upsetting every minute. A day or
two before the sleigh with Veta and Max and her sister-in-law and the
driver upset completely in a ditch, horse on his back and toes in the
air."
"Max's examinations were to be in two days so of course we tried to
beat him into a cold corner to study in the midst of the confusion."
"Of course I took a sympathetic part in all this and did my share by
scolding Max almost unremittantly from morning till night. He is a
very bright and attractive boy, but easy going."
(Exactly four years later Nelka married the "easy going boy.")
Kovno 1914.
"I would give anything to spend a few hours with you and see how you
are and have a nice talk. You don't know how much I realize what a
rock you are of effective support and comprehension."
(Nelka never again saw her aunt who died in 1916 while Nelka was at
the front.)
Kovno 1914.
"I ought never to move from Cazenovia if I had any character. I shall
have learned a lot of things when I die--and all for what?"
Kovno 1914.
"I suppose I shall die a hopeless procrastinator but if I make small
progress I also have no peace. It torments me dreadfully to have
things undone. I wish I had passed beyond this world, in my soul."
Kovno 1914.
"I realize tremendously how an institution of this kind depends on
the managing head. So much has to be looked after and such constant
questions come up that no system or plan suffices by itself. It is
very hard to get things done quickly without being somewhat impetuous
and one cannot preserve control over everything without a great
deal of calm. I think more than ever that institutional life is
perfectly anti-human. It cannot be run without a certain amount of
injustice--that is the innocent suffering for the guilty, that is
if one attempts to have rules. It would be far more just to have
no rules and exact of each one according to my own judgment.
I think that regulations are only made in support of idiotic
administrations."
Kovno 1914.
"Max wrote me such a nice, vivid letter."
"Politics are certainly very interesting now. I feel dreadfully sorry
for Servia and I hope if there is war with Austria that the last
Servian will die on the battlefield."
In May, June and early July of 1914, Nelka was writing to her Aunt
Susie about her plans of returning to America. Finally she had made
arrangements to sail the first week of August. But then the war bro
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