not feel at all tired;
but next day I had a serious relapse, and became so ill that,
humanly speaking, there was no hope of any recovery.

I do not know how to describe this extraordinary illness. I said
things which I had never thought of; I acted as though I were
forced to act in spite of myself; I seemed nearly always to be
delirious; and yet I feel certain that I was never, for a minute,
deprived of my reason. Sometimes I remained in a state of extreme
exhaustion for hours together, unable to make the least movement,
and yet, in spite of this extraordinary torpor, hearing the least
whisper. I remember it still. And what fears the devil inspired! I
was afraid of everything; my bed seemed to be surrounded by
frightful precipices; nails in the wall took the terrifying
appearance of long fingers, shrivelled and blackened with fire,
making me cry out in terror. One day, while Papa stood looking at
me in silence, the hat in his hand was suddenly transformed into
some horrible shape, and I was so frightened that he went away
sobbing.

But if God allowed the devil to approach me in this open way,
Angels too were sent to console and strengthen me. Marie never
left me, and never showed the least trace of weariness in spite of
all the trouble I gave her--for I could not rest when she was
away. During meals, when Victoire took care of me, I never ceased
calling tearfully "Marie! Marie!" When she wanted to go out, it
was only if she were going to Mass or to see Pauline that I kept
quiet. As for Leonie and my little Celine, they could not do
enough for me. On Sundays they shut themselves up for hours with a
poor child who seemed almost to have lost her reason. My own dear
sisters, how much I made you suffer! My uncle and aunt were also
devoted to me. My aunt came to see me every day, and brought me
many little gifts. I could never tell you how my love for these
dear ones increased during this illness. I understood better than
ever what Papa had so often told us: "Always remember, children,
that your uncle and aunt have devoted themselves to you in a way
that is quite exceptional." In his old age he experienced this
himself, and now he must bless and protect those who lavished upon
him such affectionate care.[5]

When my sufferings grew less, my great delight was to weave
garlands of daisies and forget-me-nots for Our Lady's statue. We
were in the beautiful month of May, when all nature is clothed
with the flowers of spring