for ever; the nearer I
drew to the goal, the greater my difficulties became. But all the
time I felt deep down in my heart a wondrous peace, because I knew
that I was only seeking the Will of my Lord.
______________________________

[1] Cf. Psalm 18[19]:5.

[2] Luke 5:5.

[3] John 4:7.

[4] Eccl. 1:14.

[5] Ezechiel 16:8, 9, 13.

[6] Cf. _Imit.,_ III, ch. xliii. 4.

[7] Cf. Cant. 8:1.

[8] Luke 19:26.

[9] Cf. Luke 10:21.

[10] Cant. 2:3.

[11] Sister Agnes of Jesus.

[12] Cf. Matt. 18:6.

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CHAPTER VI
A PILGRIMAGE TO ROME

Three days after the journey to Bayeux, I started on a much longer
one--to the Eternal City. This journey taught me the vanity of
all that passes away. Nevertheless I saw splendid monuments; I
studied the countless wonders of art and religion; and better than
all, I trod the very ground the Holy Apostles had trodden--the
ground watered by the blood of martyrs--and my soul grew by
contact with these holy things.

I was delighted to go to Rome; but I could quite understand people
crediting Papa with the hope that in this way I should be brought
to change my mind about the religious life. It might certainly
have upset a vocation that was not very strong.

To begin with, Celine and I found ourselves in the company of many
distinguished people. In fact, there were scarcely any others in
the pilgrimage; but, far from being dazzled thereby, titles seemed
to us but a "vapour of smoke,"[1] and I understood the words of
the _Imitation:_ "Be not solicitous for the shadow of a great
name."[2] I understood that true greatness is not found in a name
but in the soul. The Prophet Isaias tells us: "The Lord shall call
His servants by another name,"[3] and we read in St. John: "To him
that overcometh I will give a white counter, and on the counter a
new name written which no man knoweth but he that receiveth
it."[4] In Heaven, therefore, we shall know our titles of
nobility, and "then shall every man have praise from God,"[5] and
he who on earth chose to be poorest and least known for love of
his Saviour, he will be the first, the noblest, and the richest.

The second thing I learnt had to do with Priests. Up to this time
I had not understood the chief aim of the Carmelite Reform. To
pray for sinners delighted me; to pray for Priests, whose souls
seemed pure as crystal, that indeed astonished me. But in Italy I
realised my vocation, and even so long a journe