you were careful to point out.

One day it occurred to me that you would certainly prefer me to
spend my free time in work instead of in prayer, as was my custom;
so I plied my needle industriously without even raising my eyes.
No one ever knew of this, as I wished to be faithful to Our Lord
and do things solely for Him to see.

When I was a postulant our Mistress used to send me every
afternoon at half-past four to weed the garden. This was a real
penance, the more so, dear Mother, because I was almost sure to
meet you on the way, and once you remarked: "Really, this child
does absolutely nothing. What are we to think of a novice who must
have a walk every day?" And yet, dear Mother, how grateful I am to
you for giving me such a sound and valuable training. It was an
inestimable grace. What should I have become, if, as the world
outside believed, I had been but the pet of the Community?
Perhaps, instead of seeing Our Lord in the person of my superiors,
I should only have considered the creature, and my heart, which
had been so carefully guarded in the world, would have been
ensnared by human affection in the cloister. Happily, your
motherly prudence saved me from such a disaster.

And not only in this matter, but in other and more bitter trials,
I can truly say that Suffering opened her arms to me from the
first, and I took her to my heart. In the solemn examination
before my profession I declared--as was customary--the reason of
my entry into the Carmel: "I have come to save souls, and
especially to pray for Priests." One cannot attain the end without
adopting the means, and as Our Lord made me understand that it was
by the Cross He would give me souls, the more crosses I met with,
the stronger grew my attraction to suffering. For five years this
way was mine, but I alone knew it; this was precisely the flower I
wished to offer to Jesus, a hidden flower which keeps its perfume
only for Heaven.

Two months after my entry Father Pichon was surprised at the
workings of grace in my soul; he thought my piety childlike and my
path an easy one. My conversation with this good Father would have
brought me great comfort, had it not been for the extreme
difficulty I found in opening my heart. Nevertheless I made a
general confession, and after it he said to me: "Before God, the
Blessed Virgin, and Angels, and all the Saints, I declare that you
have never committed a mortal sin. Thank God for the favours He
has so freely b