held four children like me--more comfortably in fact, for I was
far from being at ease. I hoped that Papa was going to do all the
talking, but he told me to explain the reason of our visit. I did
so as eloquently as I could, though I knew well that one word from
the Superior would have carried more weight than all my reasons,
while his opposition told strongly against me. The Bishop asked
how long I had wanted to enter the Carmel. "A very long time, my
Lord!" "Come!" said the Vicar-General, laughing, "it cannot be as
long as fifteen years." "That is true," I answered, "but it is not
much less, for I have wished to give myself to God from the time I
was three." The Bishop, no doubt to please Papa, tried to explain
that I ought to remain some time longer with him; but, to his
great surprise and edification, my Father took my part, adding
respectfully that we were going to Rome with the diocesan
pilgrimage, and that I should not hesitate to speak to the Holy
Father if I could not obtain permission before then. However, it
was decided that, previous to giving an answer, an interview with
the Superior was absolutely necessary. This was particularly
unpleasant hearing, for I knew his declared and determined
opposition; and, in spite of the advice not to allow the Bishop to
see any diamonds, I not only showed them but let them fall. He
seemed touched, and caressed me fondly. I was afterwards told he
had never treated any child so kindly.

"All is not lost, little one," he said, "but I am very glad that
you are going to Rome with your good Father; you will thus
strengthen your vocation. Instead of weeping, you ought to
rejoice. I am going to Lisieux next week, and I will talk to the
Superior about you. You shall certainly have my answer when you
are in Italy." His Lordship then took us to the garden, and was
much interested when Papa told him that, to make myself look
older, I had put up my hair for the first time that very morning.
This was not forgotten, for I know that even now, whenever the
Bishop tells anyone about his "little daughter," he always repeats
the story about her hair. I must say I should prefer my little
secret to have been kept. As he took us to the door, the
Vicar-General remarked that such a thing had never been seen--a
father as anxious to give his child to God as the child was to
offer herself.

We had to return to Lisieux without a favourable answer. It seemed
to me as though my future were shattered